The Time Warrior Part Three

The one where the Doctor fends off a medieval army using stink bombs...

The Doctor is saved from being hacked to death by Irongron's axe by new revolutionary Sarah Jane Smith, but as she points out: "This isn't a rescue, Doctor. It's a capture!" It's indicative of just how bolshie and ballsy Sarah Jane is in the opening half of this episode. She seems particularly full of herself and bursting with hubris, perhaps bolstered by the fact she's just led a successful raid on a robber baron's castle.

She tackles the Doctor about what she sees as his helping Irongron to kidnap the scientists, and deftly deflects the subject of her being a stowaway aboard his TARDIS. It takes a little while for the Doctor to convince her that he is not on Irongron's side, but actually trying to stop him and Linx, and there's a gorgeous scene between Elisabeth Sladen and Jon Pertwee which finally cements their friendship.

It's an essential scene really, both for the viewer and the characters. Sarah and the Doctor sit on opposite sides of a table while the Doctor concocts stink bombs to use against Irongron's army. But during this scene, Sarah Jane gets to the bottom of who this mysterious Doctor is, and whether she trusts him or not. She discovers he isn't human, and that he can travel just about anywhere in space and time in his TARDIS. Pertwee is quietly beguiling here, while Sladen allows Sarah to gently come round to the Doctor's claims. All she's doing is reasoning out what she knows with what he's telling her, and while it may seem fantastical, it does make sense.

When the Doctor describes his race the Time Lords as galactic ticket inspectors, Sarah reacts just like any self-respecting English girl would: "Ooh, I could murder a cup of tea!" And from that moment, Sarah Jane Smith is on the Doctor's side, and by his side. She's the new girl, and she's fitting right in.

The Doctor's stink bombs are made of saltpeter, sulfur and fat, as well as a few other extras thrown in for good measure. Saltpeter (potassium nitrate) is traditionally used in explosives (it's also an anti-aphrodisiac!) and is found in nature in the sap of plants such as sunflower, borage and celandine, or in vegetables such as spinach, celery and cabbage. Mixed with the noxious qualities of sulfur and you've definitely got yourself a stinky weapon!

The stink bombs are highly effective once Irongron's men attempt to scale the walls of Wessex's castle, although the supporting artists playing the men seem to be having a whale of a time in doing so. Check out their grinning, guffawing faces as they try to climb the scaling ladders surrounded by bright orange explosions of smoke. These are happy marauders! Jon Pertwee seems equally as chirpy, nonchalantly tossing lit stink bombs over his shoulder to the ground below, even tossing one flaming parcel at Elisabeth Sladen for her to throw at one point! This moment is very Doctor Who.

Having fled the scene back to the castle, Irongron reprimands his chicken-hearted knaves, and David Daker releases one of the most extraordinary line deliveries in Doctor Who history: "Yoooooooooooooooouuuuuuuu MICE!" he bellows, spilling his wine in anger. Daker revels in the part of Irongron, and the lines given to him by Robert Holmes, resulting in one of the most colourful performances of the Pertwee era.

For the second story in a row the good guys gather round a dining table to rest and recharge, with a lovely little bit of business when Edward tosses a bone over his shoulder to the floor, to be copied by the Doctor, who then gets caught out by Sarah. It's a delightful moment which shows that Pertwee and Sladen were on the same page from the get-go. It's noticeable that it isn't really until this third episode that Pertwee comes alive in this story. The old Pertwee twinkle was present for his scenes with the Brigadier in part 1, but since then Pertwee hasn't really interacted on any meaningful level with anyone other than Kevin Lindsay, who's hidden behind a mask. Here, the Doctor and Sarah finally get to gel, and perhaps Pertwee isn't missing his old mucker Manning quite as much any more...

The Doctor predicts that Irongron will try again, and he's right, as the robber baron confides in his loyal Bloodaxe. Amusingly, Bloodaxe almost coins one of the most famous catchphrases in British sitcom history, a whole 10 years before it made its broadcast debut in The Black Adder: "Oh, it is a cunning plan, captain."

The Doctor and Sarah infiltrate Irongron's castle by dressing as friars, easily talking their way past a couple of inept sentries who can't act for toffee. In Linx's lab they are reunited with Rubeish, who's been bobbling about the story with nothing in particular to do for three weeks now. To be honest, he was a bit of a deus ex machina in part 2, serving only to release the Doctor from Linx's torture chair, but there's no escaping the fact Donald Pelmear is incorrigibly endearing in the part. When the Doctor asks him if he wants to get back to the 20th century, he reminisces about "steak and mushrooms, lobster and chocolate truffles", showing that Rubeish has a rather rich palate when eating at home with his beloved wife and kids!

First broadcast: December 29th, 1973

Steve's Scoreboard
The Good: The scene between Sladen and Pertwee where the Doctor makes the stink bombs is important and wonderfully played.
The Bad: Basically, anything to do with the extras, whether it's the inappropriately chirpy marauders at Wessex's castle walls, or sentry Steve Brunswick, who delivers his juiciest line as if he barely understands a word of it ("It is to be hoped the two friars are fleet of foot, or the church will have two new martyrs ere long!").
Overall score for episode: ★★★★★★★☆☆☆

"Now listen to me" tally: 30 - the Doctor tells Sarah Jane to listen to him when he explains what will happen when Linx's spaceship takes off.
Neck-rub tally: 14

NEXT TIME: Part Four...

My reviews of this story's other episodes: Part One; Part Two; Part Four

Find out birth/death dates, career information, and facts and trivia about this story's cast and crew at the Doctor Who Cast & Crew site: http://doctorwhocastandcrew.blogspot.com/2014/06/the-time-warrior.html

The Time Warrior is available on BBC DVD. Find it on Amazon - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Doctor-Who-Time-Warrior-DVD/dp/B000R20ZA6