The Five Doctors

The one where (most) of the first five Doctors join forces against a traitor to their own people...

It's difficult to express just how exciting The Five Doctors was to the seven-year-old me back in '83. Doctor Who's 20th anniversary year was something of a landmark in the history of the series, and of fandom, turning a very popular family series into something of an institution. For a programme to be still going after two decades was a rare achievement, something to be rightly celebrated, and The Five Doctors, with its crazy ambition and all-star cast, was just about the best way to do this.

The excitement is still palpable almost 40 years later. It's got "all the Doctors" in it, loads of old companions, and loads of old monsters (well, I say "loads"...!). Robert Holmes was initially given the role of writing this anniversary tale, but he struggled to make work his "Cyber-Lord" idea about Cybermen fusing Time Lord DNA with their own (not so much a problem for Chris Chibnall...). The best man for the job was obviously old hand Terrance Dicks. If there was anyone who could make this mad hotch-potch of Doctor Who eras work as one, it was him.

Planet of the Spiders Part Six

The one where the Doctor faces his fear, and loses his face...

So this is it, the end of Jon Pertwee's Third Doctor era. And although Planet of the Spiders hasn't been the swansong I wanted for him, it's nice that, at the end, Pertwee was surrounded by a good many familiar faces, whether it be Elisabeth Sladen, Nicholas Courtney, John Levene and Richard Franklin on screen, or Barry Letts, Terrance Dicks and Robert Sloman off it. And let's not forget that almost everybody else involved in Planet of the Spiders has had a hand in one of Pertwee's stories beforehand: Cyril Shaps (The Ambassadors of Death), John Dearth (The Green Death), Christopher Burgess (Terror of the Autons), Terence Lodge (Carnival of Monsters), Andrew Staines (Terror of the Autons and Carnival of Monsters), Kevin Lindsay (The Time Warrior), Pat Gorman (several), Terry Walsh (several), Stuart Fell (The Curse/ Monster of Peladon), Ysanne Churchman (The Curse/ Monster of Peladon), Walter Randall (Inferno), Max Faulkner (several) and George Cormack (The Time Monster). And let's not forget Kismet Delgado, Roger's widow, and Maureen Morris, wife of production manager George Gallaccio.

It was a veritable reunion for Pertwee, a familiar environment in which to say goodbye. But first, the viewers must say goodbye too...

Planet of the Spiders Part Five

The one where the giant spiders begin their invasion of Earth...

There's unrest among the giant spiders of Metebelis III. It's quite frustrating that the spiders don't have individual names because it's hard to identify them when writing about them here! Lupton's spider harbours treasonous thoughts of staging a coup to depose the queen spider, but what's interesting is that there's another arachnid which is even higher than the queen, some kind of deity figure called the Great One. The queen spider agrees to go and speak with the Great One to seek advice, and it's key that we don't actually see this scene, as the next time we see the queen, she is conspiring with Sarah Jane Smith.

The queen tells Sarah that all she wants is peace with the people of Earth, and her crystal back. Suddenly, the queen is a pacifist democrat who is open to the idea of abolishing slavery, but she's only been that way since visiting the Great One. I'm sorry, but I don't believe a word of the queen's supposed capitulations, and Sarah would be more wary than she is too.

Planet of the Spiders Part Four

The one where Sarah becomes food in the spiders' larder...

I'm going to get it out of the way early: Tuar and Arak make for a fine pair of brothers, don't they? Ralph Arliss and Gareth Hunt are well cast by director Barry Letts as they are convincing as siblings, and both are handsome young men with fine facial hair. Arliss would go on to be just as impressive in 1979's Quatermass IV, while Hunt would soon find greater fame as Gambit in The New Avengers. I've always found it rather sobering to see actors I admire in this way captured forever in their prime in TV and film, and then think of what the passage of time has done to them (and us all). Doctor Who fans live in the past, poring over old episodes and analysing them, picking them apart (rather like me and this blog!). To us, these people - these characters and actors - are still as they were back then. Ralph Arliss will forever be a handsome 27-year-old, and Gareth Hunt will forever be thought of as action man Gambit, or shaking those Nescafe coffee beans in his hand in those 1980s adverts. So when the inevitability of time catches up with them - as it did Hunt in 2007 - Doctor Who fans feel the loss that little bit more, and mourn appropriately.

Gareth Hunt may be gone, and Ralph Arliss may be in his 70s now, but for Doctor Who fans, Tuar and Arak will never die.

Planet of the Spiders Part Three

The one where Sarah is transported to Metebelis III...

Tommy has been lurking around the corridors of the meditation centre throughout the story so far with nothing in particular to do. He seems to live under the stairs, collect shiny things and displays the mental age of someone much younger than his physical self. I guess he must be at the meditation centre to try and develop his mental capacity in some way. John Kane does a great job of making Tommy - a quite formidable physical presence - a gentle, sympathetic, sweet soul, although it's hard not to compare his demeanour, speech pattern and love of "pretties" with Gollum from The Lord of the Rings.

What I like about this third episode is the focus on characters such as Tommy, and most particularly on Lupton, who's given a back-story and a reason for being at the meditation centre which is both tragic and slightly unnerving. Lupton was a "bright young salesman, Salesman of the Year, sales manager, sales director". Then the money men came in, and after 25 years of loyal service, a takeover and merger meant Lupton got a golden handshake. And when Lupton tried to set up business on his own, his former employers "deliberately, cold-bloodedly broke me. I'm still looking for some of the bits..."

Planet of the Spiders Part Two

The one where the Doctor chases a man over land, air and sea...

Times really have changed, haven't they? These days, when it comes to a Doctor's last ever story, all the stops are pulled out to make it as memorable, emotional and headline-grabbingly special as possible (well, usually - that doesn't really apply to The Time of the Doctor). It's a big, important thing that the writer does not want to mess up. But with the classic series, Doctors' last adventures were a little hit-and-miss, and certainly not as heralded and well-sculpted as they would become.

And as a Doctor's final adventure, Planet of the Spiders has so far failed to impress on almost every level. Two episodes in - that's a third of the entire story - and nothing seems to be happening with any narrative urgency. The first half of part 2 bumbles along trying not to be noticed, while the second half goes all out to be as action-packed, but as mind-numbingly dull, as possible. As a whole, it's a mess.

Planet of the Spiders Part One

The one where the Doctor gets a present from South America...

The first few minutes of this episode consist of a series of quick cuts between different scenarios featuring Mike Yates and the Doctor, and don't appear to be related at all. In fact, the entire episode runs along on parallel storylines which don't have anything to do with each other until the very end, which is a clever little touch.

By far the least engaging storyline involves the Doctor, who goes to see a variety show at the theatre with the Brigadier. There's a lame comedian, then a belly-dancer who certainly grabs the Brig's attention, followed by one particular act that the Doctor is most keen to see - Professor Clegg's demonstration of extra-sensory perception.

The Monster of Peladon Part Six

The one where the Doctor uses Aggedor to save the day...

The monster of Peladon doesn't really feature very much in The Monster of Peladon, does it? I mean, if you take the monster to mean Aggedor, the real Aggedor only appears in two brief scenes in the entire story, while its "spirit" isn't Aggedor at all, but a statue. Of course, the real monster of Peladon was probably Ettis, seeing as he was much more bloodthirsty and crazed than Aggedor ever was.

The Doctor uses Eckersley's matter projector to project an image of Aggedor outside of the refinery so that the heat ray can destroy the encroaching Ice Warriors. Amusingly, as soon as he sees his two pals disintegrated by the heat ray, Sskel scarpers like a frightened rabbit!

The Monster of Peladon Part Five

The one where Eckersley is revealed as a traitor...

After the walloping Ettis gives the Doctor you'd expect him to have a few cuts and bruises, but the Time Lord comes out of it all remarkably well, just a bit shaken and dishevelled (I hate to see that lovely green combo dishevelled!). Sarah, watching from the comms room on a monitor, believes the Doctor to be dead, leading to Azaxyr's prescient line: "The death of the Doctor was an unfortunate necessity." Well, it wouldn't be shown for another 36 years yet, but Death of the Doctor wasn't that bad at all, Azaxyr...!

It's interesting that Sarah's first thought isn't for herself and how she is now stranded on Peladon without the Doctor or a means to operate the TARDIS. She mourns her friend, telling Thalira that "he was the most alive person I ever met". Just you wait until the next story, Sarah. Then you'll get a shock!

The Monster of Peladon Part Four

The one where the Ice Warriors declare martial law over Peladon...

It's so good to see the Ice Warriors back on the scene. This story has been terribly humdrum so far, and what it really needs is an injection of something Martian-shaped, and what better way to fill that hole by getting Alan Bennion, Sonny Caldinez and his cronies back? Last time writer Brian Hayles took us by surprise by having the Ice Warriors as good guys. This time the Martians arrive as a security detail sent by the Federation to sort out the in-fighting and get the miners back to work. Or so it seems at first...

Bennion has such a good voice and gives Commander Azaxyr as much scheming presence as his predecessors, Izlyr and Slaar. Azaxyr succeeds in summarising the situation perfectly, establishing that everybody's point of view seems to be opposed by another's: "You say that the miners have rebelled against their proper rulers. But Gebek here says that the nobles have cheated them of their rights. You say that the Doctor here is a spy and a saboteur. But the ambassador says that he is an old and valued friend. You say that your god appears to you because he is angry, but the Doctor here is sure that the appearances are caused by trickery." As the Doctor says: "An excellent summing-up."

The Monster of Peladon Part Three

The one where Sarah introduces Women's Lib to Peladon...

The part two cliffhanger involving the ferocious flesh-and-blood Aggedor is neatly wrapped up by an encore of Kokleda Partha Menin Klatch from the Doctor, who "lightly hypnotises" the creature with his TARDIS key. Aggedor is then not seen again for the rest of the episode, so that was all a waste of time wasn't it?

The Doctor and Sarah then go to have a chat with Queen Thalira (who, at her shrillest, sounds remarkably like Alpha Centauri), quaffing from cups made of horns and eating some mysterious green lumps. And is that the price tag I can see on the bottom of Sarah's cup? Astutely, the Doctor leaves Sarah in Thalira's company, presumably because he knows she might teach the Queen a thing or two about emancipation.

The Monster of Peladon Part Two

The one where the Doctor and Sarah are sacrificed to Aggedor...

It's only part two and already this serial is struggling to tell a compelling story. It's just so dull. Apart from it being terribly bland and brown to look at, the actual plot is paper thin, and realised with very little flair. As I watch, I can see that poor Jon Pertwee - just weeks away from the end of his tenure - seems bored to tears by it all, walking through it on autopilot and giving as much to it as he's getting out of it. He's a leading man with nothing to lead.

Elisabeth Sladen's Sarah remains as feisty as ever thankfully, refusing to trust anybody else to save the Doctor from the rockfall, and going into the tunnels alone to find him. Naturally, she gets lost, but happens across the trisilicate refinery, where she sees a shadowy figure moving behind the frosted glass. She's then assaulted by a psychedelic psychic alarm which renders her unconscious. Eckersley claims there's nobody inside the refinery, but notably doesn't go so far as to prove it by showing Sarah inside. The moving figure behind the glass is quite spooky, and about the only moment of intrigue in the entire episode.

The Monster of Peladon Part One

The one where the Doctor returns to Peladon 50 years later...

It's a bit short-sighted of the production team to take us back to Peladon so soon after our trip to Exxilon, because the aesthetic and design of the two planets is too similar. Basically, rocks and caves! I also have to ask myself whether we need a return to Peladon, although seeing as the first story was so good, I'll wait and see what Brian Hayles comes up with this time. His scripts have certainly improved in leaps and bounds since his first effort with The Celestial Toymaker.

The spirit of Aggedor - the big cuddly rhino-bear thing that everybody worshipped in The Curse of Peladon - seems to be killing scantily-clad middle-aged men with haircuts like badger hides. The badger wigs of the Pel miners is a major misstep which renders these characters utterly redundant when it comes to serious drama. They look silly, it's unavoidable. I can accept and turn a blind eye to rubbish dinosaurs, or wobbly sets, but when it comes to ridiculous wig choices, it's hard to take anything they're saying seriously.

Death to the Daleks Part Four

The one where the universe loses its 700th wonder...

"What is it?" asks Bellal, quite rightly. "It's another test, I think," replies the Doctor, before he starts to scan the "ornamental floor" with his sonic screwdriver. Of course, it's a "deadly floor", capable of pumping 7,000 volts into anybody who crosses it, but luckily the Doctor works out that it can be crossed safely by playing Venusian hopscotch (but regular hopscotch will do!). If only we'd had an inkling of what this danger was at the end of last week's episode, we might have felt more bothered. It was done so much better when script editor Terrance Dicks pinched this idea for The Five Doctors nine years later...

The city is basically made up of a series of Escape Rooms, which the Doctor and Bellal have to solve and survive as they move closer to the heart/ brain of the structure. The next room pits Bellal against the Doctor in an attempt to turn them against one another, but thankfully the Doctor overcomes the city's control over his Exxilon pal, again by using his sonic screwdriver. When the Doctor asks Bellal if he's ready to go on, the little fella says: "No. But we must?", and my heart weeps a tiny bit.

Death to the Daleks Part Three

The one where the Daleks have a bit of root trouble...

The screaming hosepipe thing has a pot shot at Dr Who, and the screeching noise it makes as it swoops in is ear-shreddingly loud. For saying it's literally a big tumble dryer pipe suspended from wire, the root creature is a pretty formidable adversary, and it makes short work of the Dalek, administering its deadly "sting" several times. The Doctor describes the root as an "underground support system for the city", but does he mean the roots are literally supporting the fabric of the building, or that they "support" the city's defense system by acting as "guards"? Bellal clarifies all this a bit more when he explains that his ancestors built their cities rooted into the ground, and which drained electrical energy from the air (hence the power drain).

The Exxilons are an interesting race, the victims of their own technological advancement. They are an ancient race which "solved the mysteries of science" and conquered space travel long before most other civilisations were out of bed. They travelled the galaxies as the "supreme beings of the universe", even apparently visiting Earth to help the Incas build their temples in Peru (which was good of them).

Death to the Daleks Part Two

The one where the Daleks develop a new kind of weapon...

"Total extermination!" barks the Dalek. "Fire! Fire! Fire!" And everybody just stands still and awaits their fate with remarkably calm resignation. Nobody bolts, nobody runs, nothing. What a bunch of wimps (including Dr Who!). However, the squelchy noise the Dalek gunsticks make when they fire means something is amiss, and we soon learn that their weapons are just as powerless as the TARDIS.

With the Daleks disarmed (in more ways than one), the usual rules of the game are cast aside, and the two groups agree to team up until the power drain can be reversed. For all his formulaic trappings, writer Terry Nation has come up with a corking new twist by having the two great enemies - the Doctor and the Daleks - join sides for once, and it's fascinating watching it pan out.

Death to the Daleks Part One

The one where the TARDIS loses all its power...

There's quite a brief but brutal opening, in which a running man is shot in the belly by an arrow and tumbles into a lake to his death. It rather spoils the mysterious build-up that writer Terry Nation crafts throughout the rest of the episode, and I think it would have been much better to open with the second scene, with the Doctor spinning his parasol and crooning Oh I Do Like to Be Beside the Seaside. And from there, an inexorable descent into fear...

I have such nostalgic feelings about Death to the Daleks. It was one of the handful of stories I had in omnibus form on VHS in the 1980s, and I absolutely adored this story, perhaps more so than other tapes I had, like The Robots of Death and The Time Warrior. I mean, it had Daleks in it, and I was only 11 years old, so that kind of swung it for me! But I must try and put my warm thoughts aside to review the story episodically, critically, to see whether I still feel the same way.

Invasion of the Dinosaurs Part Six

The one where the Brigadier meets a triceratops on the London Underground...

Doctor Who really shouldn't have attempted a dinosaur fight on the budget it had in 1974. It's easy enough for Malcolm Hulke to write "the T Rex and the brontosaurus fight", but it's not so easy for director Paddy Russell and producer Barry Letts to make that happen convincingly on screen, certainly not with the dinosaur models being used. It was Hulke (and script editor Terrance Dicks') responsibility to dial that back, but they didn't, so what we're left with is two inflexible giant lizards appearing to nuzzle each other gently.

While the Doctor tries to avoid the ferocious dino-wrestling outside, Sarah is locked up in a storage room, where she's reassured by Butler that she will be going with them on their crazy voyage back to the "golden age". But why do the bad guys insist on keeping Sarah around? She's clearly a disruptive influence, and it would be much easier to dispose of her to enable them to get on with their dastardly plot. Luckily for Sarah, she's been locked in a room with one of those handy ventilation shafts. You know the type, the ones you never see in real life but seem to be commonplace in the Doctor Who universe. Always big enough for a human to crawl through.

Invasion of the Dinosaurs Part Five

The one where Sarah discovers she's not on a spaceship at all...

It's interesting, isn't it, that after all these years of the cosy "UNIT family" investigating and battling alien invasions alongside the Doctor, when it boils down to it, the only person he seems able to trust is good old Sergeant Benton. Captain Yates is exposed as a traitor at the start of the episode, and the Doctor doesn't really know if he can trust the Brigadier any more either ("What about the Brigadier?" says Benton. "What indeed?" wonders the Doctor). Maybe if Corporal Bell was still around she'd be the Doctor's ally.

But it is heartwarming that it's trusty Benton who stays loyal to the Doctor, sending the other men away so that he and the Doctor can talk properly, and then encouraging him to use his "Venusian oojah" to render him unconscious to stage an escape. Benton was the most loyal friend of all the Doctor's UNIT colleagues, so it's a shame he never got to be reunited with him after his final appearance in The Android Invasion. I rather think John Levene would've loved that.

Invasion of the Dinosaurs Part Four

The one where the Doctor discovers, then loses, a secret underground bunker...

The Doctor seems to do a lot, but achieve very little, in this episode. Armed with his new mobile time displacement detector, he hops into his "new car", which has to be one of the most ridiculous things ever to appear in the programme. Never explicitly named on screen, but known off-screen as both the Alien and the Whomobile, this UFO-inspired vehicle comes out of absolutely nowhere, for no reason. It would be a fabulous merchandising opportunity for the show, but as a piece of hardware, it's just ridiculous. It smacks of Jon Pertwee wanting to be James Bond, and although 007's famous Lotus Esprit was a few years away yet, it's from the same ideas bank as all those other TV show toys that hit the market in the 1970s, like Scooby Doo's Mystery Machine and the Six Million Dollar Man's Bionic Mission Vehicle.

The Whomobile was only ever seen in a couple of episodes of Season 11, but also featured in the 2013 comic strip In with the Tide. I'm very glad it didn't hang about once Tom Baker came along, it's just really tacky and gimmicky.