The Happiness Patrol Part Three

The one where Helen A's empire comes tumbling down...

"There are no other colours without the blues."

The Doctor, rather than try to rescue Ace from the miracle survival act at the Forum, forgets the fact his best friend is in danger and decides instead to hang out at Forum Square while he waits for Earl. He passes the time by chatting to Trevor Sigma, who shows him just how many routine disappearances there have been on Terra Alpha in the last six months - how can there be anyone left?! He also ends up crooning jazz standard As Time Goes By into a microphone.

As much as I love this story, it's messily constructed, as demonstrated here when the Doctor's movements do not follow on logically. After expressing concern for Ace's welfare at the Forum, he then drops that concern altogether to move to a different strand of the story. This serial could have done with four episodes and a bit of a rejig.

The Happiness Patrol Part Two

The one where the Doctor confronts two snipers...

Killjoys from the flatlands have entered the city to demonstrate, covering their pink uniforms with black drapes, and their faces with beautiful commedia dell'arte masks as they move through the darkened streets slowly beating a drum like a funeral cortege. This mass demonstration of public misery initially goes unpunished (Helen A allows demonstrations, surprisingly) but Daisy K tells Ace that this won't last long. These demonstrators are not allowed into the city, and so will get their comeuppance when they try to leave. This is dark material.

Meanwhile, in the Kandy Kitchen, the Doctor and Earl - a character in search of a point - are prisoners of the awesome Kandy Man, who explains what Helen A employs him for. He is her executioner, and he loves his job. "Just because she employs me as her executioner doesn't mean I can't be creative," he threatens. "Tonight you see before you the artistic, sensitive side of me. So I make sweets. Not just any old sweets, but sweets that are so good, so delicious, that sometimes, if I'm on form, the human physiology is not equipped to bear the pleasure." In essence (vanilla essence?), the Kandy Man makes sweets that kill people.

The Happiness Patrol Part One

The one where the TARDIS is painted pink...

I love some of the working titles of Doctor Who stories, many of which I prefer to the ones that made it to screen. I like the ones that conjure a feeling or atmosphere, rather than the more pulpy titles evocative of those creaky old Saturday morning serials, or sensational comic books. Planet of Giants does what it says on the tin, but I much prefer Death in the Afternoon, which makes it feel like more of a murder mystery (although there is no mystery!).

But there are so many to choose from: Is There a Doctor in the Horse? (The Myth Makers); Secret of the Labyrinth (The Masque of Mandragora); The Vampire Mutations (State of Decay); Invasion of the Plague Men (The Visitation). But it's during the McCoy era where some of the juiciest alternative titles can be found: Strange Matter (Time and the Rani); Flight of the Chimeron (Delta and the Bannermen); Storm Over Avallion (Battlefield); The Bestiary (Ghost Light); Wolf-Time (The Curse of Fenric); Cat-Flap (Survival). But my favourite of them all is probably The Happiness Patrol's divine working title, The Crooked Smile. Doesn't it just say it all, and so artfully? I so wish they'd stuck with that.