The Stones of Blood Part Four

The one where the Doctor is put on trial by the Megara...

The last thing I expected when I started watching The Stones of Blood was a courtroom drama in space. When the story began, with its covens, sacrificial stones, ravens and mythological references, I didn't expect it all to end on a brightly-lit spaceship with people painted silver and two Tinkerbells fizzing around the bewigged head of the Doctor.

If only the Doctor hadn't broken that seal on the cell door and let the Megara out, much of this tiresome legal drama could be cut out. Sadly, the Doctor did break the seal, so what we get is 20 minutes of rather tedious exchanges between a desperate Doctor (wearing a barrister's wig, for no reason), the smug Vivien, and the two sparkly justice machines. This trial of a Time Lord has none of the scale or gravity of The War Games or Season 23. It's just a couple of quacking fairy lights.

The Stones of Blood Part Three

The one where the Doctor and Romana travel into a theoretical absurdity...

"Run!" urges the Doctor to Amelia as a pulsating Ogri glides toward them. He beckons the way with an outstretched arm, Amelia nods in agreement, and they're off! What a delightful coupling they make, the Doctor and Professor Amelia Rumford having adventures together. Wouldn't it have been fantastic to have Amelia on board as a companion? Years later, the natural synergy of the Doctor with an older female companion was capitalised upon in the Big Finish audios, with Evelyn Smythe, and in the BBC's own Nest Cottage audios with Mrs Wibbsey. Tom Baker seems to gel with older ladies (see also Amelia Ducat and Martha Tyler), but I'd love to see this pairing taken a bit further. Sadly, Beatrix Lehmann didn't have very much longer left on this Earth...

Amelia is fascinated by the Ogri that's chasing them, and suggests they try and capture one in the interests of science (much to the Doctor's frustration). I still find it hard to take the Ogri seriously. The fact they glide along the ground so smoothly merely brings attention to the fact they have no legs. So you immediately start to wonder how they move along, and at one point I was imagining little stony feet popping out of the bottom of them and shuffling along! That's not really how a Doctor Who monster should look (although that didn't stop them designing the Tractators that way).

The Stones of Blood Part Two

The one where the true identity of the Cailleach is revealed...

Both the Doctor and Romana are in pretty dire straits at the start of this episode. The Doctor is unconscious, tied to a stone altar, about to become the latest blood sacrifice to the sacred Cailleach, while Romana is clinging onto a cliff edge for dear life (but managing to keep her jaunty Burberry cap on her head throughout). The Doctor comes round with a jolt ("I hope that knife's been properly sterilised!") and is saved by none other than Amelia Rumford on her bicycle, who frightens the knife-wielding murderers away with her tinkling bell.

In order to locate Romana, the Doctor blows K-9's dog whistle, which amazingly he can hear inside the TARDIS, even though the TARDIS is apparently in a different, separate dimension. Clever whistle! This is the whistle that also distracted Shrievenzales on Ribos, so it's a pretty handy gadget to have, it seems.

The Stones of Blood Part One

The one where the Doctor pushes Romana over a cliff...

The Stones of Blood is Doctor Who's 100th story, and part 1 is the 488th episode. The production team at the time resisted the temptation to observe this landmark by saying it was the Doctor's birthday, complete with birthday cake, which is probably just as well as there's already enough time wasted in the TARDIS bringing Romana up to speed on the quest for the Key to Time. It serves as a handy reminder for the audience I suppose, but it's quite clunkily done.

The episode opens with a gorgeous effects shot of the TARDIS spinning in the vortex, then goes straight into the Key to Time catch-up, then shifts to an introductory scene on Earth inside a stone circle. One of my ambitions in life is to re-edit classic episodes of Doctor Who so that they have pre-credits sequences/ cold opens, as I much prefer these little teasers, or mini-cliffhangers, before the titles. It works well (sometimes) in 21st century Who, and I adore the cold open for Remembrance of the Daleks part 1, so have always wanted to see what old episodes looked like with this structure. In this case, I'd open with the brethren in the stone circle, ending with "Come, oh great one, come! Your time is now!" Cue titles, then go into the spinning TARDIS shot. Wouldn't that be better?