The Ice Warriors SIX

The one where the computers says no...

OK, so I was wrong. Zondal does manage to fire the sonic cannon at Britannicus Base, and some damage is caused to the humans (well, a chandelier slips a bit, and some polystyrene falls from the ceiling). I take it back, Brian Hayles. For once, you did have the courage of your authorial convictions.

What I found most remarkable about episode 6 though, is how Walters suddenly springs out of his box and gets loads of lines, and fair dos, actor Malcolm Taylor grabs his chance and runs with it. Walters has a kind of breakdown by turning against Clent and his reliance on the computer, and threatening to smash it up. Sadly, Taylor's impressive soliloquy - performed with gusto, like Eddie Yeats in hyperdrive - is cut short by Miss Garrett's trigger-happy need to preserve the computer at all costs, and he's gunned down (but only stunned, like Penley last episode).

The Ice Warriors FIVE

The one where Clent and Penley finally come face to face...

I love Doctor Who because it's exciting and escapist, adventurous and daft. I love it for its uniqueness, its joy and fun, and I love it because it's fearless, flexible and ferociously imaginative. But I also love it for the little things, the things others might scoff at or turn away from. Case in point: the way the caption "FIVE" is splendidly skew-whiff at the opening of this episode. It just made me smile with fondness for this rickety old show!

One thing that does frustrate me about Doctor Who sometimes though, are rubbish cliffhanger resolutions like this one (I also moaned about it last episode). At the end of episode 4, Varga had counted up to four and the atmospheric pressure reading had dropped to one-quarter. But in the reprise Varga only manages to reach three, and the reading drops to just halfway, before the Doctor is reprieved. Annoying, false jeopardy. Best I just move on...

The Ice Warriors FOUR

The one where the humans wonder what the Ice Warriors have got, while the Ice Warriors wonder what the humans have got...

Zondal is very eager to fire the cannon and destroy Victoria. Varga flicks the switch and... the cannon retracts, and Varga adds: "Not yet." Oh. It's one of those really bad cliffhanger resolutions where, if we'd stayed watching last week for just a second or two longer, we'd know there was no danger at all. It's like those equally as awful cliffhanger resolutions where the baddie is just about to shoot the goodie, and then someone else runs in and says: "Stop! I need them alive!" It's such a deflating anti-climax with next to no narrative reward at all. It's lazy writing when a situation is contrived just to provide a cliffhanger every 25 minutes, but it actually has no rhyme, reason or, in this case, logic.

Varga would rather Victoria be allowed to report back to the base just long enough to pique the curiosity of the humans, so that they send their cleverest people to the Warriors so that Varga can ask them what sort of reactor they're using (Varga likes asking questions). In turn, the humans are very keen on finding out what sort of propulsion unit the Martian spaceship has, in case it reacts explosively to their ioniser. It's all a bit silly and plodding and mechanical. I mean, the Ice Warriors are 7ft tall monsters with unconquerable might and firepower. Why don't they just smash their way into the base and find out everything they need to know by force? Brian Hayles is treading water terribly here, at the story's midway point.

The Ice Warriors THREE

The one where Penley refuses to save the world...

Varga's Martian army defrosts in good time, but it seems the scaly monster is most pleased to see one particular colleague - Zondal - judging by the amount of times he repeats his name triumphantly. Maybe Varga and Zondal were lovers before the big freeze put their relationship on ice? Or maybe they're brothers? Who knowsssss?

It's in this episode that Deborah Watling topples into the screechy weepy stereotype that I always recall when I think of Victoria. So far I've been pleasantly surprised by how strong-willed Victoria has been, but here she's simply become pathetic and weak. While I realise she is a young, naive and anxious Victorian teenager, the fact there have been several demonstrations of a certain stubbornness in preceding stories makes her collapse into a whimpering mess all the more disappointing. I don't find Watling the strongest actor in the first place, but all she's doing now is squeaking and crying and bringing no edge to the part at all. It may be written that way, but it doesn't take much for a good actor to add nuance and depth to lines and scenes which lack it. Basically, Victoria - belt up!

The Ice Warriors TWO

The one where the Warrior leader comes to life...

It's a shame that any episodes of Doctor Who are missing, but it's a particular shame that the episode in which the Ice Warriors make their proper debut is absent from the archives. The Varga costume is an impressive design, and pairing the 6ft 7in tall Bernard Bresslaw with the diminutive Deborah Watling (reportedly 4ft 11in) is a visual masterstroke.

Bresslaw is excellent as Varga, a creature with a real sense of humour, as demonstrated by his frequent hissing laughter. Varga says his homeworld is the "red planet", which the people of Earth know as Mars, but of course, the Ice Warriors may very well not (seeing as they didn't have a Roman god to name their planet after). It begs the question what they do call their own planet. Surely they can't go around calling it "the red planet", because from their perspective, red would be normal, so why make the distinction?

The Ice Warriors ONE

The one where the Doctor becomes Britain's scientific adviser...

Opera! How refreshing and startling to have a female opera singer opening the episode over various pictures of snowy landscapes. The music is a Dudley Simpson composition, but this gives the story an instant icy blast, and makes it feel like a 1950s B-movie, replacing the theremin with a vocal. Love it! I also like the new way of presenting the story title and episodes ("ONE"!).

The first scene opens on a busy, bustling futuristic control room, with people dressed in crazy patterned clothes milling about a bunch of computers, but in a room which seems to have wood panelled walls. Simpson's music gallops over all of this, and at times is too high in the mix for us to hear what's being said. This is actually a complaint I have of the whole episode, as quite often what people are saying is either muffled or drowned out. Sound director Bryan Forgham seemed to be struggling with the fact director Derek Martinus keeps the characters on the move for a lot of the time.