The Time Warrior Part Four

The one where Sarah tries to introduce women's lib to the Middle Ages...

It really is quite silly that the Sontarans' only weakness is the probic vent on the back of their neck. Linx seems to think it's fine, because it means they always have to face their enemies, but that's not much use when you're waging intergalactic wars (as the Sontarans do) and you might find yourself surrounded by enemies on the battlefield. The openness, the sheer accessibility, of the probic vent is also silly, because if it makes the Sontaran that vulnerable, why don't they try harder to disguise it, defend it, or cover it up? In the novelisation of Shakedown, the Sontaran helmets do have an extra bit that covers the vent, but otherwise I reckon the Sontarans have got it coming for being so dumb.

Irongron sends Bloodaxe to fetch Linx to the main hall, and I love how Bloodaxe gingerly peers around Linx's door and calls to him. The Doctor pretends to be Linx by popping his helmet on his head and telling him to go away, and Bloodaxe willfully flees, saying: "Come soon, or we'll come and fetch you!" The lily-livered coward... but I do love Bloodaxe.

Instead of getting on with more pressing things, such as fixing Linx's osmic projector to send the scientists back to the 20th century, the Doctor decides he fancies a bit more dressing-up and goes to see Irongron pretending to be another robot. This really is very foolish, because he knows all too well that last time Irongron had a robot at his disposal, he had his men shoot a load of arrows into its gizzard.

The Doctor robot gets embroiled in a sword-fight with Irongron which is laboured but serviceable, which is why I was so surprised to hear Bloodaxe claim: "Never have I seen a finer swordsman." Well, you can't have seen many sword-fights then, Bloodaxe! Irongron's men then set upon the Doctor robot en masse, and the Doctor copes admirably, but to be honest, I don't have a lot of sympathy for him because he got himself into this willfully. By the time Irongron tells a guard to shoot some arrows into him to slow him down, the Doctor decides to blow his cover with the wonderful: "It's a little bit unsporting, old man."

The Doctor then ends up acting as target practice for Irongron's men, who need to better their aims with the rifles Linx has given them. The sight of Jon Pertwee bobbing backwards and forwards, side to side, to avoid bullets fired at almost point blank range is stretching credulity somewhat. I mean, they might be the worst aims in the world, but at that distance, they're bound to hit him!

The Doctor finally manages to escape when Sarah swings a chandelier to him and he does an Errol Flynn and swoops across the hall and out the main door, closing it behind him. I'm sorry, but this escape scene is ridiculous. Why was the chandelier hooked to the gallery in the first place (it certainly wasn't when you briefly see it in part 3)? And how can the guards not manage to stop the Doctor escaping when he's swinging, rather nonchalantly, right past their heads? It's a poorly directed scene.

During this time, Sarah has managed to infiltrate the castle kitchens to pour the sleeping draft into the food, and this gives Sheila Fay something to chew on as Meg, who's been floating about throughout the story with little to say but looking like she definitely cuts her own hair. Fay makes the most of her scenes and comes across as a thoroughly unpleasant and cynical taskmaster, and proves to be something of a brick wall when Sarah tries to rally her into revolution. Sarah's attempt to bring feminism to medieval times is endearingly pointless, and when she says: "What subservient poppycock! You're still living in the Middle Ages," you can't help but laugh. Look out for Bella "Mrs Croot" Emberg as a kitchen maid in the background!

It's also rather funny that the way Sarah manages to get the sleeping draft into the second cooking pot is by distracting the maid with: "Look at that great spider!" Ah, little did she know what was to come...!

In the final act, the Doctor, Sarah and Hal return to Irongron's castle to prevent Linx's spaceship taking off and destroying everything. While Rubeish sends the scientists back to the research centre via osmic projector (I might ask why the Doctor doesn't just take them all back in the TARDIS), the Doctor engages in fisticuffs with Linx, who succeeds in hurling the Time Lord about quite successfully, gurgling and rasping as he does it. During the action, poor Irongron is killed by Linx, who then tries to escape in his ship.

Hero of the hour is Hal the archer, who manages to fire an arrow into Linx's probic vent just before the ship door closes. It's a bit of a coincidence that Hal manages to target the one part of a Sontaran that will be effective, despite having no idea about the vent's vulnerability, but it results in Linx's demise all the same.

The castle blows up (depicted, rather poorly, as stock footage of a quarry blast), but the Doctor doesn't seem very interested in the fact there will be futuristic tech debris (and possibly an alien corpse) found in the smoking ruins. Also, while we know Bloodaxe and the other men got away, what became of Meg and her kitchen staff? I presume they perished in the explosion, but again, Sarah isn't at all bothered by this.

The Time Warrior is a perfectly enjoyable adventure, a rather sedate way to open a new season, but full of fun and written beautifully. The Sontaran is a wonderful addition to the Doctor Who gallery of monsters, and Elisabeth Sladen makes an energetic debut. It's great to see Pertwee in a historical setting for once too (The Time Monster's Atlantis is too brief, and Carnival of Monsters' 1926 setting was only 47 years earlier than the story, so more period than historical).

First broadcast: January 5th, 1974

Steve's Scoreboard
The Good: "If you're going back, then I'm coming with you." Sarah Jane Smith checks in at the Perfect Companion Members' Club.
The Bad: All the business with the Doctor as the robot, and wasting time in the great hall, is indulgent padding.
Overall score for episode: ★★★★★★☆☆☆ (story average: 7 out of 10)

"Now listen to me" tally: 30
Neck-rub tally: 14

NEXT TIME: Invasion...

My reviews of this story's other episodes: Part One; Part Two; Part Three

Find out birth/death dates, career information, and facts and trivia about this story's cast and crew at the Doctor Who Cast & Crew site: http://doctorwhocastandcrew.blogspot.com/2014/06/the-time-warrior.html

The Time Warrior is available on BBC DVD. Find it on Amazon - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Doctor-Who-Time-Warrior-DVD/dp/B000R20ZA6