The Green Death Episode Four

The one where we find out exactly who the real BOSS is...

Talk about being in the wrong place at the wrong time! Poor old Hinks, dutiful right-hand man and general heavy for Stevens, arrives at the Nuthutch at the worst possible moment. He's there to steal back the egg the Doctor took from the mine, but little does he know the egg has already hatched, and there's a wriggly giant maggot on the loose! I love the way Ben Howard presses his nose up against the glass before breaking in, one last sardonic gesture before being attacked by the maggot, and presumably killed in the long run. The Doctor doesn't seem too bothered by Hinks's inevitable fate.

It's nice to get UNIT proper turning up at last, with Sergeant Benton putting in an appearance for the first time since The Three Doctors. You can really trace John Levene's development as an actor across his time in Doctor Who. I mean, he was never going to win any prizes, but he manages to inject tiny moments of character into some very flat lines sometimes, making Benton a rather lovable and reassuring presence.

Under strict orders from Stevens - who now, inexplicably, commands an entire paramilitary taskforce - UNIT must blow up Llanfairfach mine, sealing in the deadly maggots that Global Chemicals refuses to acknowledge exist. Blowing up a mine is not something that should be done lightly, or without experts who know the layout and vulnerabilities of the shafts and tunnels below ground. Random explosions could lead to subsidence and sink holes, which may also affect the local community and environment. But no, the Brigadier knows what's best. After all, he's got previous with blowing up subterranean infrastructures without prior appropriate consultation...

The Doctor tries to convince Stevens not to go ahead with the explosion, but Stevens has one more trick up his sleeve - he has a "man from the Ministry" on hand to back him up. Ah, but does he? When we meet this governmental representative we find that it is none other than Captain Yates, who we haven't seen since episode 4 of The Time Monster (broadcast exactly one year previously, less a day!). To be honest, Richard Franklin doesn't make for the most convincing civil servant, he looks far too wet behind the ears! It's an interesting twist though, that Yates doesn't help the Doctor's cause by halting Stevens' plan. He goes with it, supports it, because he's afraid of blowing his cover. The Doctor is not amused!

Having Yates as an undercover man inside Global Chemicals is a masterstroke of the Brigadier's, and it was seeded as far back as episode 2 when we saw him calling Yates on the phone. I've never been as much a fan of Yates as Benton or the Brigadier, but Franklin imbues him with a bit of fun and chutzpah here, and it's great to see UNIT doing more than just soldiering. Thinking back to Benton's shadowy pursuit of the Doctor and Jamie in The Invasion, UNIT should be about more than guns and bombs.

But bombs it is, and the mine is blown up, resulting in all of the deadly maggots that were trapped below ground now rising to the surface and posing an even greater threat to mankind. Well done, Brigadier!

The Brigadier soon discovers that these giant hissing creepy-crawlies are pretty formidable: they're armour-plated, so impervious to bullets, and they lap up insecticide spray like it's din-dins. What the Doctor really needs is a sample of the pollutant slime which has turned these tiny maggots into what Professor Jones calls "atavistic mutations" (is he really suggesting that maggots used to be super-sized in their ancestral form?). All hail the Doctor's biological counter-strike!

We've already seen that security at Global Chemicals is pretty tight, with the Doctor's earlier infiltration of the complex to secure cutting equipment easily thwarted. But everything stops for tea, and the Global Chemicals staff will always need their milk, so what better way to get inside the grounds than dressing up as a milkman? Jon Pertwee goes into full comedy mode here, pretending to be Jones the Milk's aged father and looking like one of his cameo characters in the three Carry On films he did in the mid-1960s. Da Jones needs no ID to prove he is who he says he is, the security man just lets him through, because basically he's got milk! Maybe somebody ought to try that strategy at Area 51 or Porton Down?

Once inside, the Doctor changes from a doddery milkman into a shrill cleaning lady, pinching Doris Griffiths' char outfit (complete with stockings and head scarf!). Seeing the Doctor in drag is both bizarre and hilarious, although it's not the first time he's dressed as a woman (and certainly won't be the last...). Jon Pertwee dressed as a cleaning lady has to be the craziest sight of the Third Doctor era.

At Wholeweal, Jo is feeling unwanted, and after being sidelined and patronised by Cliff, she decides to go it alone to try and find a maggot. This is prime Jo Grant. She's always been a girl with get-up-and-go, an independent spirit with pluck who goes it alone if she thinks it'll help (sometimes it does, often it doesn't). Grabbing a cat basket, she heads for the coal fields to try and bag a maggot. Now that's not going to go well, is it?

Meanwhile, the Doctor makes his way to the top floor of Global Chemicals, where Mike tells him the real person in charge can be found. The idea of a mysterious top floor is deliciously intriguing, and when the Doctor gets there - a wonderful set by John Burrowes - he stumbles upon who the real mastermind at Global Chemicals is: "I am the BOSS. I am all around you... I am the computer."

It's a wonderful, chilling moment, directed well by Michael Briant, with John Dearth's smug voice laid over shots of spinning computer reels and flashing control panels. BOSS is a sentient computer, not the first in Doctor Who history (and certainly not the last) but probably the one with the most personality!

First broadcast: June 9th, 1973

Steve's Scoreboard
The Good: The cliffhanger reveal of BOSS is chilling.
The Bad: I still don't buy the fact UNIT has been placed under the exclusive auspices of Stevens. It's just nonsense!
Overall score for episode: ★★★★★★★★☆☆

"Now listen to me" tally: 25
Neck-rub tally: 13

NEXT TIME: Episode Five...

My reviews of this story's other episodes: Episode One; Episode Two; Episode Three; Episode Five; Episode Six

Find out birth/death dates, career information, and facts and trivia about this story's cast and crew at the Doctor Who Cast & Crew site: http://doctorwhocastandcrew.blogspot.com/2014/05/the-green-death.html

The Green Death is available on BBC DVD. Find it on Amazon - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Doctor-Who-Green-Death-Special/dp/B00CX3FTA8