The Space Pirates Episode One

The one where the TARDIS crew arrives on a soon-to-explode space beacon...

The blurb on the back of the BBC Radio Collection soundtrack CD of this story states that this six-part adventure is "brimming with visions of space travel in the 21st century", and that's kind of the problem, isn't it? Visions, things you should be able to see. Because The Space Pirates was, by all accounts, a feast for the eyes, with stacks of modelwork of various spaceships in flight, as well as scenes of spacewalking and laser battles. It was a proper intergalactic adventure.

So the fact we can't see it - because the BBC decided to wipe the master tapes a mere three months after episode 6 had aired - makes it really hard to enjoy or appreciate the serial in the way intended. And so The Space Pirates is very often overlooked, underappreciated or forgotten by fans, simply because it just does not work on audio alone. Yes, we have episode 2 to give us some clue as to what people and things looked like, but there's so much still missing from our understanding of the story, due to there being no telesnaps, and very few photographs taken at the time (we don't know what Dom Issigri looked like for instance, or his headquarters).

I tried to approach listening to the story with an open mind, but it soon became apparent that The Space Pirates has its reputation for a reason - because it's damn hard to sit and listen to. So much of it is visual, lacking dialogue, and the bits which are spoken are written so lifelessly that there's very little to latch on to. Writer Robert Holmes doesn't bother to give his characters discernible personalities, only things to say and do. They are voices and names, not people, with the possible exclusion of pirate Caven, played with noticeable grit by Dudley Foster.

So, what is there to say about what we can hear? There's Dudley Simpson's gorgeously operatic music (with vocals by Welsh soprano Mary Thomas (1932-1997)), which you might think were inspired by the equally as operatic Star Trek theme, but the truth is the American series didn't make its British debut until July 1969 - three weeks after Season 6 of Doctor Who had vacated its Saturday teatime slot. Simpson's other music for the serial is just as interesting, including a hectic electronic theme which cranks up the jeopardy.

The heavy use of modelwork to show the Alpha Beacons, V-Ships and Beta Darts was obviously inspired by the then current fascination with all things spacey, fuelled by the imminent Apollo 11 manned mission to the moon, as well as the popularity of other sci-fi hits such as Thunderbirds and 2001: A Space Odyssey (indeed, Doctor Who seemed obsessed with rocketry at this time, with space flight featuring in The Invasion, The Seeds of Death and The Ambassadors of Death). John Wood's model design work has thankfully survived the purges due to being on separate film stock, and the footage is admittedly impressive, perhaps among the best the classic series achieved.

It's harder to gauge cast performances on audio alone, but most fail to make much of an impact either way, except the aforementioned Dudley Foster, and the rather fruity Jack May as General Hermack. I was a little nonplussed by Michael Stevens's linking narration script, which chooses to describe Lieutenant Sorba as "dark-skinned and athletic", but opts not to describe the skin colour of any other characters (yes, Nik Zaran was black, but so what? Donald Gee was white...).

The story seems quite straightforward so far, a tale of pirates hijacking government space beacons because they're made of the precious mineral argonite. The TARDIS materialises aboard one of these beacons before it's blown into splinters by Caven and his men, resulting in the Doctor, Jamie and Zoe being separated from the Ship. The set-up feels quite Season 1, despite the frenetic pace.

However, so far this feels more like Flash Gordon or Buck Rogers than Doctor Who, as if the TARDIS crew has been shoehorned into another show entirely. Episode 2 is the only extant installment, so at least I'll get to see these people and what they're doing for one week only!

First broadcast: March 8th, 1969

Steve's Scoreboard
The Good: Dudley Simpson's distinctive score.
The Bad: The dialogue is resolutely lacking in character or spark, which makes listening to it all the more stultifying.
Overall score for episode: ★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

NEXT TIME: Episode Two...

My reviews of this story's other episodes: Episode Two; Episode Three; Episode Four; Episode Five; Episode Six

Find out birth/death dates, career information, and facts and trivia about this story's cast and crew at the Doctor Who Cast & Crew site: http://doctorwhocastandcrew.blogspot.com/2014/03/the-space-pirates.html

The Space Pirates soundtrack is available on BBC CD. Find it on Amazon - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Doctor-Who-Pirates-Frazier-Hines/dp/0563535059.