The Space Pirates Episode Four

The one where we learn what's in the Doctor's pockets...

I'm finding it really difficult to come up with anything worth saying about The Space Pirates. My viewing/ listening notes are a third of what they would normally be because there's simply nothing to say! I know that worthier fans such as Jonathan Morris and Gary Gillatt have probably written perfectly intelligent and well-considered essays about The Space Pirates, but I have to admit that it's so uninspiring a serial that I'm struggling! I suppose that in itself is a critique...

It's also really hard to make out what's going on and what people are saying at times as the audio recording (made by an unidentified fan on its Australian broadcast) is very tinny, despite being restored as best it can be. But to be honest, even when you do know what's going on, it's very often not very much!

This episode in particular is preoccupied with space travel, the amount of time it takes to get from A to B and what repercussions such journey times might have. Such conversations can be made to be riveting - as demonstrated by Drew Goddard's screenplay for The Martian - but in Robert Holmes's slightly desperate hands, it's just crushingly dull. This is just a load of jargon and tech-talk dressed up as jeopardy and it fails abysmally.

I continue to be astounded by General Hermack's ineptitude, as he decides to set off for the planet Lobos, where he believes the space pirates are based. He also believes he'll find Milo Clancey, who he thinks is their leader. He's wrong. Milo Clancey - and Caven's pirates - are actually in the mine workings beneath Ta, and it's revealed at the end that Madeleine Issigri may not be as unaware of this fact as she makes out. I knew there was something fishy about her.

The Doctor, Jamie and Zoe spend almost the entire episode trapped in a cave with the injured Sorba (remember him? The "dark-skinned and athletic" chap from episode 1?), and despite spending too long trying to activate the audio-lock with a tuning fork, the party are ultimately rescued by Milo Clancey. We learn that the Doctor also carries drawing pins and a stethoscope in his pocket, but that's probably the most interesting thing we learn in episode 4.

Ho-hum...

First broadcast: March 29th, 1969

Steve's Scoreboard
The Good: There's simply nothing.
The Bad: All 22mins 25secs of it. Well, I take that back, it's not bad as such, it's just... unutterably boring.
Overall score for episode: ★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ (the lowest score I've given a Troughton episode yet, and I've only given it a "2" because a, the Doctor who theme's cool, and b, it's mercifully short)

NEXT TIME: Episode Five...

My reviews of this story's other episodes: Episode One; Episode Two; Episode Three; Episode Five; Episode Six

Find out birth/death dates, career information, and facts and trivia about this story's cast and crew at the Doctor Who Cast & Crew site: http://doctorwhocastandcrew.blogspot.com/2014/03/the-space-pirates.html

The Space Pirates soundtrack is available on BBC CD. Find it on Amazon - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Doctor-Who-Pirates-Frazier-Hines/dp/0563535059.