The Twin Dilemma Part Three

The one where the Doctor tries to kill his old friend Azmael...

After the success of his character Professor Eustacius Jericho in Flux, it feels so odd to see Kevin McNally look so young as Hugo Lang. McNally was a youthful 28 when he appeared in The Twin Dilemma, and a not-so-youthful (but much more experienced) 65 by the time of Flux. While Jericho is definitely his better contribution to the canon, it's easy to imagine Hugo Lang staying on as one of the Sixth Doctor's companions in an alternative timeline. If only this Doctor wasn't so much of a git, more people might have wanted to travel with him!

Colin Baker definitely settles down a little bit in this episode, relaxing into a level of performance more recognisable as the "normal" Sixth Doctor. But the Doctor is still unstable, and remains unlikeable ("How I hate these hit or miss performances"), as shown when he and Peri argue over compassion being "the difference that remains between them" (this episode is chock full of clunky dialogue like this).

The Doctor is surprised that Peri is glad he wasn't killed in the destruction of the safe house, and hits the nail on the head as to why his audience is struggling to warm to him too: "I have spent the day using, abusing, even trying to kill you," he says. "If you'd have behaved as I have, I should have been pleased at your demise." This new Doctor is far more alien than any of his predecessors (even the Fourth Doctor wasn't this coldly dispassionate), and while I recognise that Baker et al are trying to show a different side to the Time Lord, I really do not think it's a wise move. The Doctor is supposed to be the good guy. But while he can go on saving civilisations and universes like proper heroes do, he has to do it with a recognisable moral compass. The Doctor is always the Doctor, no matter how grumpy or sensitive or mysterious he happens to be at the time. This Doctor shows no signs of what we expect to see: compassion, kindness, respect. I really hope this post-regenerative trauma wears off soon, otherwise I'll struggle to enjoy the Sixth Doctor's era.

Baker is settling though, and there are signs of stability kicking in, such as during the scene in the TARDIS where he, Hugo and Peri discuss their plan to save the children (and the screengrab I took at 4min 56secs has to be one of the most hideously 1980s stills possible!).

After a gorgeous TARDIS materialisation (well done Peter Moffat), the Doctor bursts forth, arms wide, breathing in the sweet air of Jaconda. "Jaconda the beautiful!" he exclaims, before opening his eyes to see the truth. I like this aspect of this Doctor, embracing the atmosphere of a new world, rejoicing in the anticipated pleasures of his travels. Sadly, Jaconda is not the paradise it once was, its forested splendour reduced to a barren sludge by the invading Gastropods.

A slime trail gives evidence that the Gastropods were not a part of Jacondan mythology at all, but all too real. When the Doctor later finds the ancient hieroglyphs telling the history of the planet, we learn that the Queen of Jaconda did something to offend their Sun God, who sent a giant slug creature as punishment. The Gastropod laid numberless offspring, and when the eggs hatched, the invasive slugs ravaged the planet, tipping the Jacondan people into starvation. When he'd seen what had happened, the Sun God sent a drought to destroy the slugs... but it seems a few eggs survived, and one of them hatched a mini-Mestor. And now look at the place. It's great to have this back-story for the planet and its people, it gives rhyme and reason to what so far has been a pretty one-dimensional "alien invasion" yarn.

"Into the TARDIS, I need to think," instructs the Doctor. Far too much time is spent in the TARDIS in The Twin Dilemma, when the Doctor should be out there getting involved and finding things out. It's not until the end of part 3 that he actually learns what the monster's dastardly plot is (and he has yet to meet Mestor). While in the TARDIS the Doctor has one of his "manic moments" again and refuses to help Hugo find the children (he's afraid of the Gastropods, and so doesn't want to get involved).

Thankfully, Peri remonstrates with him after his outpouring of tedious self-pity: "Look at me: I'm old, lacking in vigour. My mind's in a turmoil. I no longer know if I'm coming, have gone, or have even been. I'm falling to pieces. I no longer even have any clothes sense." Cue Peri: "Oh stop feeling sorry for yourself!" About time someone stood up to this self-centred bully and made him see the truth. Why this girl stays travelling with the Doctor after all this is beyond me.

Hugo finds the Doctor unreliable and would prefer him to stay behind (very wise, I agree) but the Doctor has a very sudden change of hearts and insists on helping. I can't keep up with this guy, he's truly schizophrenic. Once they start out, the Doctor labels his beloved police box "hideous" (a portent of things to come, perhaps?), and decides to abandon Hugo and Peri when the former gets his boots stuck in Gastropod slime (it hardens like concrete in seconds, which must really mess up the highways and byways of Jaconda). Yet again, the Doctor unfairly blames Peri for their woes, leading her to erupt into a triumphant retort: "I'm not letting a manic depressive paranoid personality like you shut me up!" I'm glad she's hitting back at this obnoxious boor, but his insistence on bullying his companion is a distinctly unpleasant feature. There's arguing, there's disagreeing, and then there's emotional abuse. Peri needs to get out, as soon as she can.

Further thoughts:

• I like the scene where Azmael and Drak see a "blip on the scanner" (it's the TARDIS in pursuit) and composer Malcolm Clarke plays a low, grimy version of the Doctor Who theme tune.
• At one point Azmael refers to Noma as treasonous, just because he's obeying Mestor. But surely if someone obeys their master's orders, that's the opposite of treason? Azmael might see it as treasonous against him, but he's no longer the master of Jaconda.
• How I love the connection made between Azmael and Drak. While Noma seems to be staunchly subservient to his Gastropod master, Drak recognises the old loyalties, and renews his friendship with his former benevolent leader. It's a lovely little moment between Maurice Denham and Oliver Smith.
• The modelwork continues to impress, and Peter Moffatt's location work boasts scale too. The model and location work add a gloss to the story which is incongruous because the prolific studio work is so damn cheap-looking.
• The scene where the unstable Doctor launches himself across the room at Azmael's throat in his second attempt to strangle somebody to death is tiresomely ill-judged yet again. I thought we were past this. First a young innocent female companion, now an elderly veteran actor thrown about like rag dolls. Enough is enough, please. And all the Doctor says is "I apologise", and swiftly moves on (as does everyone else). This is bad Doctor Who.

Now, about Mestor. We already know the costume poor Edwin Richfield's wearing is bloody awful, but it's shown off to its full inadequacy in part 3. Mestor manages to waddle his way to Azmael's laboratory, all flappy hands and eyes looking in different directions. Just the sight of Maurice Denham talking face to face with a big rubber slug is laughable, and you'd have thought Peter Moffatt would want to try and minimise wide shots and brightly lit angles. But no, Moffatt actually goes so far as to show Richfield being helped up the steps out of the lab by two Jacondan guards. We can guess how unwieldly the costume is, but why go and show us!?

We also see two other Gastropods in this episode, down in the tunnels, but despite the lower lighting, the rubbish costume design means the actors within have to amble nonchalantly across the screen, rather than do what slugs would do: slither and slide! Gastropods should look and move like Jabba the Hutt, but instead look laughably like two uncredited extras struggling to stay upright.

One good thing I can say about Mestor is the scene where he demonstrates his monstrosity by killing a poor Jacondan citizen caught stealing vegetables from the royal hatcheries. The prisoner claims his family is starving (caused by the Gastropods' devastation), but Mestor has no compassion, and issues the death penalty. That penalty is death by embolism, essentially obstructing his blood flow, a most painful way to go. It's quite a nasty scene, for all the rubber masks and flowing feathers, and demonstrates just how vicious Mestor is. He even puts the carcass into cold storage "in case this famine continues". Yuk!

By the end of the episode we've learnt what Mestor's grand plan is, and why he wants the twins. He wants to bring two outer planets into orbit around Jaconda to create giant larders for the Gastropod hatcheries, and he needs the Sylvest twins' remarkable mathematical powers to achieve this. But as the Doctor points out, one tiny miscalculation will result in blowing a small hole in the universe. Mestor's plan is nothing if not ambitious, I'll give him that!

The cliffhanger sees the Doctor fearful that Peri will be killed by Mestor. Zoom in on Colin Baker's distressed face. "Peri!" he quivers, somewhat unconvincingly. Is this compassion and concern for others I see before me, Doctor...?

First broadcast: March 29th, 1984

Steve's Scoreboard
The Good: I really like the measured, anticipatory materialisation of the TARDIS on Jaconda, and the Doctor bursting out to embrace the air.
The Bad: I wouldn't say Colin Baker is giving a bad performance, as he's simply following the bad script and bad direction, but I do wish he'd dial it down a bit to bring some semblance of truth.
Overall score for episode: ★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Word repetition: 3 - Hugo dares to tell the Doctor to chill. "Calm down? Calm down! Calm down?"

NEXT TIME: Part Four...

My reviews of this story's other episodes: Part One; Part Two; Part Four

Find out birth/death dates, career information, and facts and trivia about this story's cast and crew at the Doctor Who Cast & Crew site.

The Twin Dilemma is available on BBC DVD. Find it on Amazon - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Doctor-Who-Twin-Dilemma-DVD/dp/B002ATVDEQ