Delta and the Bannermen Part Two

The one where the Bannermen finally arrive...

Outside of the objective critique of this review blog, Delta and the Bannermen is in my top ten - perhaps even top five - favourite Doctor Who stories of all time. To some, perhaps even many, that is anathema, incomprehensible, abhorrent. And I see that, I get that absolutely, because it's not one of the finest slices of Doctor Who ever. It's camp and silly and a tiny bit amateurish, but what's wrong with that once in a while? Classic Doctor Who was never going to win any BAFTAs*, it was just there to entertain and amuse, and isn't that what Delta and the Bannermen does?

I think something as light-hearted and camp as Delta and the Bannermen works better contextually, following years of the grim, continuity-laden muddle Eric Saward drummed up. Sure, if you're going to dip into Delta and the Bannermen straight after watching Inferno, Genesis of the Daleks and The Caves of Androzani, of course it's going to pale in comparison, but I maintain that within context, it's a breath of welcome fresh air. And I'll die on that hill.

Saving the Doctor and Ray's lives unwittingly, Gavrok destroys Keillor by blowing up the transmitter he's holding, rather than paying him those one million units in bounty. All that's left of the Brylcreemed rocker is a pair of smoking blue suede shoes. How wonderfully dark!

Meanwhile, Billy the mechanic has burst uninvited into Delta and Mel's chalet, just as Delta's space egg is hatching into an ugly green sprog. For saying this is probably the very, very last thing Billy would expect to see, he reacts remarkably calmly, almost as if actor David Kinder was out of his depth. Billy accepts what he sees instantly, and settles down for the night to listen to Delta's story of extra-terrestrial genocide while Mel sleeps. Billy is such a bland character, performed with little personality by Kinder, who looks the part but acts like he's slightly elsewhere.

Billy is a character in search of a point, and most of his point is provided by being the object of Ray's unrequited affection. He has very little personality to speak of, and goodness knows what Chimeron queen Delta sees in him (surely she'd fancy wrinkly, green-skinned male Chimerons like Chima, rather than smooth, pink-skinned humans like Billy?). Billy's fascination for Delta is hard to believe, seeing as he barely knows her. Plus, she's got a green daughter who grows up every ten minutes and whines all the time. Whatever is Billy thinking? Probably very little...

The Doctor has to convince Burton to evacuate Shangri-La before the Bannermen arrive, and does that by showing him the inside of his time machine (the Doctor used a similar method to convince authorities he's an alien from outer space in Black Orchid). I love the scene where Burton, in his pyjamas and dressing gown, learns the truth about the Nostalgia Trips visitors. "Let me try and get this right," he says. "Are you telling me that you are not the Happy Hearts Holiday Club from Bolton, but instead are spacemen in fear of an attack from some other spacemen?" And then he takes the mickey out of the Doctor by asking for "space buns and tea"!

Nevertheless, like everybody else at Shangri-La, Burton accepts these wild claims quite easily, and packs all of his holidaymakers, as well as his Yellow Coat staff, off to safety, in nearby Llandrindod Wells (a curious place to send them, as it's a good 70 miles away from where Shangri-La probably is. Why not Cardiff or Newport?).

The Doctor's next task is to find where Billy's taken Delta and the hatchling, and a search ensues with the Time Lord comically perched on the back of Ray's scooter as they comb the surrounding beauty spots. Sylvester McCoy is in his element with the physicality of the part, such as when he opens the gate for Ray's scooter, then momentarily finds himself blocked by it, before leaping exuberantly back onto the pillion. There aren't many Doctors who act this goofily and get away with it.

As the Doctor and Ray find Delta, Gavrok and his red-tongued Bannermen land their impressive spaceship in a nearby meadow, where they first encounter pointless American agents Hawk and Weissmuller. These two have had no relevance to the story since the moment they appeared, and continue to provide an unnecessary distraction. I kinda wish Gavrok would shoot them, but instead he has their radio and tent destroyed (the latter most explosively).

I love that Don Henderson plays Gavrok deadly seriously, and is not taken in by the frivolities and heightened performances of those around him. Gavrok is the villain of this piece, and we need to be able to take him seriously if we're to believe Delta really is in danger. Gavrok is a pretty disgusting baddie, showing no morals, no mercy, and looking like he's just woken up with the biggest hangover this side of the Softel Nebula. Henderson's gravelly voice adds to Gavrok's menace, and the fact he eats raw meat with his teeth (at least I think that's what it is) and has horribly disfigured hands and filthy fingernails perfects the villainy! If Henderson had sent Gavrok up, I couldn't believe the danger Delta is in, or that the Doctor is taking it all so seriously.

Before the Navarinos' 1950s Club can get away in their space bus, the Bannermen blow it up, with every squat, wrinkly, purply creature on board. Luckily, Mel decided to stay behind, and she plays witness to their shocking mass murder. If the explosion for the space bus had been as impressive as the explosion of Hawk and Weissmuller's tent, it might have felt even more shocking, but even as it is, the complete eradication of all those innocent people - including the genial Murray - is a stunner. Bonnie Langford manages to play her reaction just right: stunned, numbed, but overall appalled. Maybe this is because Henderson is looming over her giving full-on Nasty Bastard, but Langford always needs a more experienced thespian to temper her excesses, and that works here.

The Doctor settles on delivering Delta, Billy and the princess to local beekeeper Goronwy, played charmingly by vintage comedian Hugh Lloyd. There's definitely something a bit different about Goronwy, both in the way Lloyd plays him with an air of knowingness, and in the way the Doctor reacts to him, as if he is aware of him already. When Billy says: "There's nothing there except old Goronwy's place", the Doctor mysteriously asks: "Does he keep bees?" When Billy asks how he knows, the Doctor looks like he has a secret, a foreknowledge perhaps. When he and Goronwy meet, they say hello, but it's a cursory welcome, as if a trust exists between them implicitly. Some fans wonder if Goronwy is another renegade Time Lord, in retirement in 1950s South Wales, and happy to help an old comrade in time of need. The Further Adventures of The Beekeeper, anyone? (No, not you, Big Finish).

The final scene is another of those Doctor-defining moments for McCoy as he arrives under the supposed protection of a white flag of truce, which Gavrok shoots at. The Doctor's fury at being threatened is palpable as he strides directly up the stairs to see Gavrok and gives him a piece of his mind! "You're in enough trouble already, Gavrok!" he sneers. "What do you know about life? You deal in death. Lies, treachery and murder are your currency." The Doctor is telling it like it is in no uncertain terms, charging into the breach without a thought for his own safety, in order to rescue his friends Burton and Mel.

He audaciously orders the Bannermen to step aside and release their prisoners and bravely walks his friends away, despite Gavrok's far-from-idle threats, but stops short when the Bannermen raise their weapons. "Actually, I think I may have gone a little too far," he admits, as the episode ends. The selfless bravery of the Doctor in this scene is exhilarating, and McCoy pitches it just right (his tendency to, shall we say, 'over-deliver' and garble his lines is thankfully tempered here).

Honestly, I dunno what all the Delta haters are going on about.

* Classic Who may never have won a BAFTA, but it did win a Writers' Guild of Great Britain Award in 1975 for Season 11.

First broadcast: November 9th, 1987

Steve's Scoreboard
The Good: The Doctor's confrontation with Gavrok as he rescues Mel and Burton.
The Bad: David Kinder is as flat as the Shangri-La flower bed.
Overall score for episode: ★★★★★★★☆☆☆

Ace says "Professor": 0

NEXT TIME: Part Three...

My reviews of this story's other episodes: Part One; Part Three

Find out birth/death dates, career information, and facts and trivia about this story's cast and crew at the Doctor Who Cast & Crew site.

Delta and the Bannermen is available on BBC DVD. Find it on Amazon - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Doctor-Who-Delta-Bannermen-DVD/dp/B001UHO12U