Delta and the Bannermen Part Three

The one where the Doctor defeats the Bannermen using honey and an amp...

Charmless Billy is so determined to spend the rest of his life with Delta and her green daughter that he hits upon the idea of turning himself half-Chimeron by consuming the baby food. He steals some of the syringes from Delta's handbag and secretly starts sucking the alien green goo into his mouth, hoping it will make him more compatible when he comes to breed with Delta.

Billy's obsession with having a family with the insipid Delta is totally unconvincing, partly because it comes out of nowhere, and partly because neither David Kinder or Belinda Mayne have the slightest chemistry together. I don't know what's so terrible about Billy's life as a handsome motorcycling mechanic in rock 'n' roll Wales, but he seems desperate to escape it, to the point of dabbling with unknown alien foodstuffs. His aim is to help save the Chimeron race by breeding with Delta, but it's too late for that. Surely Billy can't turn 100% Chimeron, so the best that can happen is that he and Delta produce a child that is only part-Chimeron. The purity of the Chimeron race is long gone (with the death of Chima in part 1).

Putting the preposterousness of Billy's scheme aside, this final episode sees the Doctor's ever-expanding Scooby gang - Billy, Delta, the princess, Burton, Mel, Ray, Goronwy, Hawk and Weissmuller - speeding through the Welsh countryside with the Bannermen on their trail. The Doctor sets a stinging boobytrap for their pursuers at Goronwy's house (TARDIS?), before speeding back to the holiday camp for the final showdown. Poor Goronwy sacrifices a lot for Delta and the Doctor, including his home and his 10,000 jars of honey, which it's taken him decades to collect. But the old devil doesn't seem at all phased, preferring instead to read a good book.

Ever the eccentric inventor, the Doctor takes to the roof to rig up a contraption to amplify the attack warning song of the growing Chimeron princess. It seems the Bannermen, who have already been stung repeatedly by hundreds of ferocious honey bees, have very sensitive hearing, and the Chimeron attack cry renders them helpless, rolling around the ground clutching their ears. It's a very camp way to defeat an enemy, and tying them up with skipping ropes is even camper! Gavrok himself is defeated by his own boobytrap, the sonic cone he placed on top of the TARDIS to kill the Doctor. The best villains are always destroyed by their own weapons!

Only afterwards did I notice the 'compromising'
nature of this screengrab! When you see it...

There's a lovely, but all too brief moment in the chalet where Billy is "just changing" into a Chimeron spacesuit (where'd he get that from?), as well as into a Chimeron bloke. Will he go all wrinkly and green? Time will tell... But Sylvester McCoy is wonderfully melancholy as he warns Billy he cannot condone the species crossing, which may result in "the most dreadful mutation" (as if Chimeron babies aren't ugly enough). Hugging a Stratocaster, the Doctor laments: "But then, love was never known for its rationality," and giving a lost look, as if remembering a similar time in his own lives. Is he remembering Cameca the Aztec lady? The unrequited connection between he and Todd on Deva Loka? Or is he recalling the irrationality of the romance that dared to take his granddaughter Susan away from him, all those lives ago? It's a beautiful, oh-so-brief moment and you can read a thousand stories in McCoy's wistful expression.

Quickies:

• Hawk and Weissmuller: why? Take them out of the story and they wouldn't be missed, not one bit.
• The fantastic soundtrack to this story saw several genuine 50s hits re-recorded (for copyright reasons) by the Lorells, the fictional band from part 1 led by composer Keff McCulloch. The songs comprise: Rock Around the Clock (originally Bill Haley and His Comets, 1954); Singing the Blues (Marty Robbins, 1956); Why Do Fools Fall in Love? (Frankie Lymon and the Teenagers, 1956); Mr Sandman (the Chordettes, 1954); Goodnite, Sweetheart, Goodnite (the Spaniels, 1953); That'll Be the Day (Buddy Holly, 1956); Only You (the Platters, 1955); Lollipop (Ronald and Ruby, 1958); Who's Sorry Now? (popularised by Connie Francis in 1958); and Happy Days are Here Again (an American standard).
• The effect of the swarming bees stinging the Bannermen, despite how embarrassed the actors must have been at the time pretending to writhe around in agony, is done well, and certainly more convincing than the killer insects of Time and the Rani!
• It's a shame there was a push toward highlighting Sara Griffiths' Ray as a possible replacement companion for Mel, because I just don't rate her, as an actor or character. Ray's far too soppy and lovelorn and Griffiths' appalling Welsh accent really grates on me. Foregrounding Ray also means poor Bonnie Langford is sidelined in her own show, particularly in part 3.
• That final farewell, just an exchange of knowing looks, between the Doctor and Goronwy outside the TARDIS, is wonderful. I'm sure these two men know each other, or at least know they're both Time Lords, but the subject is not broached (maybe Goronwy is in hiding, or exile?). It's a shame the production team at the time didn't pick up on this (because it's all just fan theory), and Goronwy/ the Beekeeper didn't turn up in subsequent Seventh Doctor stories. That final knowing smile Hugh Lloyd gives as the TARDIS dematerialises says it all.

The final scenes really ramp up the 50s camp as a bus full of holidaymakers from the Skegness Glee Club arrives, and it's business as usual for Shangri-La (which now has no staff!). McCulloch underscores the bittersweet farewells with a gorgeously composed tribute to the harmony groups of the 50s: "Here's to the future, love is the answer..." It's over the top, yes, but nothing less than appropriate for one of Doctor Who's brightest, gayest, most carefree stories ever.

Delta and the Bannermen is never less than true to itself, always upbeat even when dealing in danger, and always up for a good time. Doctor Who couldn't be this all the time, but for three weeks one dingy November, it brought love, light and laughter to our autumnal hearts. If Paradise Towers is the graphic novel of Season 24, Delta and the Bannermen is the back-up strip: light and inconsequential, but fun and frothy.

Here's to the future! I'm looking forward to it.

First broadcast: November 16th, 1987

Steve's Scoreboard
The Good: That very last shot of Hugh Lloyd looking up at the sky as the Doctor leaves. There's years of Big Finish box sets in that one smile.
The Bad: Billy wanting to be saviour of the Chimerons.
Overall score for episode: ★★★★★★★☆☆☆ (story average: 7.3 out of 10 - this score places it on a par with Doctor Who and the Silurians and The Deadly Assassin, and I'm pleased some of you will be appalled by this!)

Ace says "Professor": 0

NEXT TIME: Dragonfire...

My reviews of this story's other episodes: Part One; Part Two

Find out birth/death dates, career information, and facts and trivia about this story's cast and crew at the Doctor Who Cast & Crew site.

Delta and the Bannermen is available on BBC DVD. Find it on Amazon - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Doctor-Who-Delta-Bannermen-DVD/dp/B001UHO12U