The Horns of Nimon Part One

The one where the Doctor dismantles the TARDIS...

Another post-Star Wars Doctor Who story, another opening shot of a spaceship flying past the camera. They never look as awesome as George Lucas's ships, of course, but I admire the production team's indefatigable determination to reproduce its effect for British TV! The inside of this ship has quite a detailed set by Graeme Story, full of computer banks and controls and all sorts of gubbins on the walls. Story has also used the ubiquitous triangular wall moulds that date back as far as 1972's The Mutants, as well as some barely disguised ribbed tumble dryer hoses! Ingenuity at work.

These opening scenes mainly comprise two grumpy space pilots arguing over how quickly they can get from A to B. The Pilot is keen not to rush things because the ship is so old it might not take the strain, whereas the Co-Pilot wants to get to their destination as fast as they can when he learns this is the last time they'll have to do it. The Co-Pilot's rash behaviour causes the ageing ship to buckle under the strain, and after a series of explosions and collapsing set, the craft is left hanging in space, powerless and directionless. That'll teach Co-Pilots to take matters into their own hands.

Meanwhile, in the TARDIS the Doctor has taken most of the time machine's controls apart in what is another example of rash behaviour. He's even dismantled the dematerialisation circuit, so they couldn't land anywhere if they needed to (he'd be better off scrubbing clean those filthy roundels). Although Season 17 hasn't been half as silly as my memory led me to believe, this Doctor has certainly been infantilised by Tom Baker during his years in office, to the point where he's doing rather stupid things that you wouldn't expect of a super-intelligent alien being. Why dismantle the TARDIS controls while you're in flight? Why not land on a safe planet, or at an intergalactic repair shop? This Doctor's just becoming an idiot.

Taking the Doctor's place as the voice of reason and maturity is Lalla Ward's Romana, who's dressed as if she's going fox hunting. Her outfit (designed by the incomparable June Hudson) makes her look more like Dr Who than Tom Baker does. The eye-catching red frock coat contrasts beautifully with Lalla's long blonde locks, and the inclusion of a cream waistcoat, white cravat, red leather gloves, jodhpurs and boots make Romana look the most stylish she's been since Mary Tamm's days. I wish Romana dressed this way every week as it is by far my favourite costume of hers.

This period in Doctor Who's history is plagued by pointless introductory TARDIS scenes, usually with the Doctor pratting about while Romana watches on, sighing with frustration. All the shenanigans with the Doctor under the console with explosions going off (explosions which look rather too close for comfort at times!), K-9's head being blown the wrong way round, and then the Doctor giving the robot dog mouth-to-mouth resuscitation... It's all so silly, but not in an amusing way, not for anybody over the age of six anyway.

With the TARDIS unable to do anything, stranded in space like a piece of flotsam, it finds itself being drawn toward the equally as immobile Skonnon ship. However, because the TARDIS cannot dematerialise, there's no way to go outside or board the ship, so the Doctor cleverly extrudes the ship's still functioning defence shields to bridge the gap from TARDIS door to the Skonnon ship's airlock. Simple but effective special effects are used to show the corridor, with the Doctor leading K-9 across with his scarf!

Exploring the ship, the Doctor and Romana come across a bunch of attractive youngsters dressed in banana yellow who seem terrified of, but resigned to, their fate, which is to be bearers of Aneth's tribute to the Nimon. Playing Teka is Janet Ellis, who would very soon become a presenter on the children's magazine programme Blue Peter, and had recently given birth to future pop star Sophie Ellis-Bextor.

But more interesting is Simon Gipps-Kent as Seth, Prince of Aneth, a handsome young actor who had made quite a name for himself as a child actor throughout the 1970s. By the time he made it onto the Doctor Who set he was 20 years old and parts were beginning to dry up as his youth became maturity. He was a cracking actor whose performances were always honest and heartfelt, and it was tragic when he died at the painfully young age of 28. It was officially recorded as morphine poisoning, but there was so much more to his death than that, and the truth has never really been properly reported, mainly due to the unpleasant, sometimes distasteful details surrounding Simon's life in the 1980s. Whatever happened, it was a tragic loss, for both his family and the acting profession.

The Doctor learns that the Anethan youths are to be sacrificed to the Nimon, and is soon forced by the conniving Co-Pilot to try and get the ship back on its feet and on its way to Skonnos. The Co-Pilot doesn't question where the Doctor and Romana came from at all, he's just desperate to get the tributes to the Nimon so he never has to do it again. He's a selfish schemer who cares nothing for the fact the Pilot's been killed, and insists on shouting "Weakling scum!" at the Anethans, who huddle together like a pile of cold scrambled egg. Malcolm Terris's performance is far from restrained, but he's enormous fun to watch and makes for a very hissable baddie. But why is the character defined solely by his occupation? Why doesn't he have a real name? It's like the Huntsman in The Creature from the Pit, he kind of deserves a name.

The Doctor and Romana - who rather wonderfully has her own sonic screwdriver - agree to try and fix the ship, and the video effects used to illustrate the developing gravity whirlpool ("a Sargasso Sea in space") is disarmingly good because I thought there was something wrong with my DVD! While the picture is slowed down slightly, the sound is pitched up, creating an unsettling viewing experience all round. The Doctor returns to the TARDIS to get some parts, telling the Co-Pilot to "be kind" to the Anethans as he leaves (very Twelfth Doctor). However, as soon as the ship is able to pull away under its own power, the Co-Pilot's off on his way to Skonnos again, leaving the Doctor stranded in the TARDIS as huge chunks of space rock gravitate toward it.

What's best about all this high melodrama is that Lalla Ward gets to take charge, to become the Doctor. The scene where she discovers the Co-Pilot's left the Doctor behind is scorching, as Lalla strides onto the bridge and spits: "Despicable worm!" Now, that's a really bad line of dialogue, and is difficult for anybody to say without sounding camp or insincere. But the way Lalla Ward delivers it, you're instantly convinced of her sincerity and anger, backed up by her delivery of "TURN BACK!"

Miss Romanadvoratrelundar is not amused! I certainly wouldn't like to cross her in this mood.

Separate to all of this are scenes set on Skonnos, a planet boasting some astonishing design choices. Again, Graeme Story's sets are impressive (even if the metal floors are rather noisy), but I'm not sure what to make of June Hudson's costumes. They look sumptuous and gorgeous, as ever, but they're far from practical, especially the ridiculously ostentatious headgear the guards have to wear. The feathery plastic concoction on poor Michael Osborne's head is battling to undermine any sincerity he's putting into his performance as Sorak. And as for Graham Cowden, he's just letting the camp rise to the surface in a performance which absolutely acknowledges the melodramatic qualities in the script and plays up to them. His costume works a little better, but again it's not really practical. It's all the accentuated shoulders which seem silly to me. Yes, they look lovely, but I pity the poor actors who have to perform in them.

Soldeed's trip to see the Nimon (is the Nimon a singular or a plural, nobody seems sure?) is very laboured in that he stalks the corridors of the Nimon's domain on the offensive, his staff aloft, as if he's expecting trouble at every turn. When he reaches the inner sanctum, he fearfully disturbs the Nimon, which is revealed to be a bloke in a body stocking wearing a big helmet. The Nimon is not the best realised monster in Doctor Who history - by far - but on the plus side, it looks suitably awesome, and although the head is nothing more than a static mask, there's something about the stature, the huge yellow horns and the glowing red eyes which go some way to redeeming it. I love the voice too, a deep rumble backed by a strange electronic strobing noise.

We'll see how this pans out, but so far it's not too bad, the Doctor's infantile behaviour aside.

First broadcast: December 22nd, 1979

Steve's Scoreboard
The Good: June Hudson's costume for Romana is gorgeous and so Doctorish.
The Bad: The Doctor is annoyingly infantile in this episode at times, dismantling the entire TARDIS, cranking K-9's head round, giving K-9 mouth-to-mouth, and cowering in fear in the cliffhanger. I think K-9 is actually a bad influence on him!
Overall score for episode: ★★★★★☆☆☆☆☆

"Would you like a jelly baby?" tally: 24 - the Doctor offers jelly babies first to Teka and Seth (but they don't partake), then reassures them by offering Romana one, and finally offers them round to all the Anethans (three offers in all). It's quite amusing when Seth bites one in half, the Doctor takes the other half back for himself and then offers Seth a new one!

NEXT TIME: Part Two...

My reviews of this story's other episodes: Part Two; Part Three; Part Four

Find out birth/death dates, career information, and facts and trivia about this story's cast and crew at the Doctor Who Cast & Crew site: https://doctorwhocastandcrew.blogspot.com/2014/08/the-horns-of-nimon.html

The Horns of Nimon is available on BBC DVD as part of the Myths and Legends box set. Find it on Amazon - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Doctor-Who-Legends-Monster-Underworld/dp/B002SZQC98/