The Web Planet (Episode 1)

The one where the TARDIS console spins round like a top...

I'm convinced that absolutely nobody involved with The Web Planet knows what the heck is going on, and least of all those watching it. This six-part serial has a reputation for being one of Doctor Who's most difficult/ challenging stories across its entire history, and there are sound reasons for that reputation. It has to count as Doctor Who's strangest story ever.

Of all the episodes of Doctor Who so far, The Web Planet feels the most as if it was recorded live. It's not a shambles as such, but more half-formed, under-rehearsed, impalpable. I wouldn't be surprised if the truth was this episode was recorded in a rush with half as much prep and rehearsal time as usual, because it looks and feels that way.

The first 10 minutes in the TARDIS are a case in point, and William Hartnell in particular. Hartnell seems completely lost most of the time, unable to conjure his lines and never quite sure where he's supposed to be or what he's supposed to be doing. There's a moment where everything goes awkwardly quiet, and Hartnell shakes his hand vigorously as if he's desperately trying to dredge up his next line. Maureen O'Brien looks expectantly across at the wordless Hartnell before William Russell saves the day by giving a leading cue, but for most of these early scenes, Hartnell seems to be really struggling (it all gets very awkward a bit later when he seems to totally lose his train of thought regarding the Doctor's ring). I'm guessing it was caused by developing symptoms of his arteriosclerosis again (I talk a bit about this in my review of Rider from Shang-Tu) as only so much dodderyness can be explained away through performance. It's another tragic reminder of what William Hartnell was battling, and what was on his horizon...

But it's not just Hartnell who's having a bad day. The Web Planet sees the unwelcome (for me) return of director Richard Martin, the man who, for my money, was the least effective director of the show's early years. He was always given serials with bulky props in like Daleks, Zarbi and Mechanoids because Verity Lambert must've thought he was good at it, but he really, really wasn't. He was a poor director of action sequences, particularly in studio, and The Web Planet is one serial where you really need someone in charge who knows what they're doing.

Designer John Wood doesn't seem to have a clue how the TARDIS should look either, and we get a reconstruction of the interior which looks like it's been put together in a crisis. Where's that bizarre storage area come from? Why are the exit doors on the right of camera instead of left? Why is there a hulking great power cable snaking out of the console and off-set? At one point Richard Martin gives us a high shot of the planet's surface and we can plainly see that the crags are wooden flats (one of which we see a Zarbi peek over like he's in a Punch and Judy show).

The bits that work best are those which make this a very alien planet. The music by Francois and Bernard Baschet (which they called "sonorous sculptures") is beautifully ethereal and otherworldly, like alien wind chimes. The music was also used in Galaxy 4 later in 1965, but works best in The Web Planet due to the utterly strange setting (you can see the Baschets playing and talking about their work in this clip, but you'll have to understand French to get the most out of it). The way Richard Martin uses special filters on the camera lens to make the planet's surface look different - all smeary and thin - is very effective, although more than 50 years later it does still make you wonder if there's something wrong with your TV set! I also love the weird chirruping of the Zarbi, which sounds like nothing I've ever heard before, although it's sometimes reminiscent of that other bastion of Doctor Who aural weirdness, The Sea Devils.

The Zarbi costumes themselves are beautiful but flawed. They look exactly like they should - giant monster ants - but their inflexibility and bulk means the operators inside struggle to bring them to proper life, and all the viewer is left with is the surefire understanding that there's a little man inside who obviously can't see a damn thing! The larvae gun rather lets the side down, I'm afraid, looking for all the world like a coffee table with a particularly eccentric throw on top. But having recognised the Zarbi's faults, there's no denying they are magnificent in their own way.

The scenes set on the planet's surface are fun, not least because it seems Hartnell has had a glass or three of whisky in between scenes! His struggles inside the Ship are a thing of the past, and now that he's dressed up in his white karakul hat and atmospheric density jacket he seems full of beans! His performance is principally made up of rushing around, hooting, and chuckling maniacally in one of the most startling changes of gear I've seen on screen! He just seems really hyper!

Probably the best thing about this episode is the lovely little scene between Barbara and Vicki halfway through, where Barbara tries to convince Vicki to take an aspirin, and the girl from the 25th century reveals the truth about the state of education in her time - it seems children have more expected of them at a much younger age, but they learn via machines and only for an hour a week! It's a delightful little scene, bursting with warmth and character, and an oasis of normality amid the peculiarities elsewhere.

Peculiar, you say? What's peculiar? Hmmm? Well, aside from the backwards TARDIS set, the floundering performances and the clumsy direction, there's the fact the Doctor doesn't seem to rate the discovery of a giant pyramid building as relevant or interesting, or even remotely connected to the debilitation of the TARDIS.

There's writer Bill Strutton's lame attempt at building mystery: "Whatever power has got hold of the TARDIS has taken your pen."

There's the fact Ian uses a tie as his belt (and takes it off, hoping his pants don't fall down! "That's your affair, not mine," the Doctor states, quite correctly), as well as the unlikely way he goes to wash his hands in an alien rock pool (does he not remember Marinus?).

There's the ropy special effect of the Doctor and Ian looking at the pyramid (they're see-through!); there's Barbara's sentient arm; and most peculiar of all is the spinning TARDIS console! It's so magnificently unexpected that it made my eyes boggle. I mean, is it ever explained? Surely it's not even physically possible? I was disturbed enough by K-9 randomly spinning round in Season 16, but this? Bizarro!

I could go on writing about what's strange and wrong about this episode of Doctor Who, but I'll save myself for the other five to come because I'm pretty sure there'll be plenty of material.

First broadcast: February 13th, 1965

Steve's Scoreboard
The Good: The depiction of an alien planet is done well - the eerie music, the weird sound effects, the echoing dialogue, the smeary camera lens and the crazy creature designs.
The Bad: Almost everything else. It all seems so muted and unsure of itself, like Frankenstein's monster looking at itself in the mirror for the first time.
Overall score for episode: ★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

NEXT TIME: The Zarbi...

My reviews of this story's other episodes: The Zarbi (episode 2); Escape to Danger (episode 3); Crater of Needles (episode 4); Invasion (episode 5); The Centre (episode 6)

Find out birth/death dates, career information, and facts and trivia about this story's cast and crew at the Doctor Who Cast & Crew site: http://doctorwhocastandcrew.blogspot.co.uk/2013/07/the-web-planet.html

The Web Planet is available on DVD. Find it on Amazon - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Doctor-Who-Web-Planet-DVD/dp/B0009WT5BY