The Greatest Show in the Galaxy Part One

The one where clowns dressed as undertakers use kites to track hippies in the desert...

That introductory line barely scratches the surface of how bizarre and surreal elements of The Greatest Show in the Galaxy are, but this is what Doctor Who was excelling at in its twilight years. It was trying new things, it was far from predictable, and it was going for big, colourful comic book ideas and visuals. Setting Doctor Who in a circus seems such an obvious idea - it was touched upon half-heartedly in Terror of the Autons - and I'm surprised it took 25 years to get around to it properly.

The deluge of wild and wacky images that bombard the viewer as the episode unfolds is almost overwhelming. It might have been filmed on location in a quarry to represent the barren alien world of Segonax, but the characters that populate this arid planet are far from dull and dusty. It all begins with the opening scene of a circus ringmaster performing a rap to an empty amphitheatre (but actually the viewers at home). The ringmaster warns of amazing and scary acts, and plenty of surprises, finishing with: "You ain't seen nothin' yet."

Meanwhile, in the TARDIS - the last respectable TARDIS interior scene of the classic era - the Doctor is practising juggling (what a coincidence) by reading Juggling for the Complete Klutz by John Cassidy, a real guide book first published in 1983. The Doctor obviously learns enough from this book to use his juggling skills in Survival too! TARDIS scenes are a rarity for the Doctor and Ace (they're seen inside the Ship in just three of their nine stories), the latter of whom is cosplaying as the Fourth Doctor and Melanie Bush while searching for her rucksack (you chucked it in the Cyber shuttle, don't you remember Ace?).

Also: just look at those filthy roundels!

A piece of robotic junk mail materialises inside the TARDIS trying to bully them into visiting the Psychic Circus, currently based on Segonax. Writer Stephen Wyatt likes his video advertisements (remember the Illustrated Prospectus of Paradise Towers?) and this one makes the Psychic Circus seem fun and colourful. But while the Doctor's keen to enter the talent contest with his spoon-playing skills, Ace is less enthusiastic. She finds clowns creepy (who doesn't?), but that doesn't stop the Doctor taking her. There's nothing quite like facing up to your fears, is there?

Throughout the episode we're presented with a roll call of weird and wonderful guest characters. There's some kind of transmat landing base where people arrive on Segonax to visit the circus, starting with Nord (Vandal of the Roads) sitting astride his backfiring motorbike as he bites into what looks like a jelly baby burger! Then there's a geeky kid on a BMX in specs, tank top and bow tie, played by Gian Sammarco, who was at the time (and probably will forever be) known for playing Adrian Mole (aged 13¾).

The Doctor and Ace land on Segonax and make for a fruit and veg stall plonked in the middle of nowhere on this arid, barren planet. I'm not sure how much passing trade the stallslady picks up, but anyone who does drop by isn't exactly welcomed with open arms. The stallslady is played by the fearsome Peggy Mount, who plays the part exactly as you'd expect: stroppy, belligerent and mildly aggressive! This woman does not like foreigners, monopods from Lelex, or weirdos who make for the Psychic Circus ("some people will call themselves anything"), so the Doctor tries to butter her up by buying some of her fresh wares.

He and Ace force themselves to consume the gloopy flesh of the plaup fruit (harvested on Vulpana), but the stallslady also has other fruit on sale, including enox and forstens. To be fair, the plaup fruit does look revolting, like a sweetcorn-laden meal brought up after a heavy night on the tiles. The Doctor hopes to convince their host they're not the hobbledehoys and vagabonds she fears, and show them the way to the circus.

Then Nord turns up with his backfiring bike, which makes Ace's tomboy eyes light up, but he's not one for chit-chat, threatening to "do something 'orrible" to her ears. Nord also threatens to do something unpleasant to the Doctor's face, so I think he's best left well alone. Nord's played by Daniel Peacock, a common sight on TV in the 1980s, the son of The Vicar of Dibley's Trevor Peacock (Jim Trott) and brother of Silence in the Library's Harry Peacock (Proper Dave).

Just when you think things can't get any weirder, the Doctor and Ace encounter a pith-helmeted explorer and his punk friend Mags trying to dig up a buried robot in the sand. This story climbs through levels of craziness remarkably swiftly! Captain Cook is played by the wonderful T.P McKenna, who is so magnetically amusing that he's instantly my favourite character, despite him being rather crass. Cook and Mags are obviously intended by Wyatt as a skewed reflection of the Doctor and Ace, two mismatched people exploring the universe together, one far more experienced than the other. Captain Cook boasts about his past adventures (not unlike the Doctor) on planets such as Melogophon and Letrepos, while his friend Mags is left to toil in his wake (echoes of most of the Doctor's companions!).

After a shooty encounter with the suddenly revived buried robot ("Don't often see one like that, do you?"), this unlikely team of wanderers happens upon an abandoned coach in the middle of nowhere. It's a colourful, brightly-painted bus ("the road is open and the rides are free"), perhaps used by intergalactic hippies to get from the landing base to the circus. But something happened along the way: the bus was attacked and the passengers destroyed (how can the Doctor be so sure of this with so little evidence?). But then, he has been sensing something evil since he landed on Segonax, demonstrating a sixth sense for trouble (that's our Doctor!).

The encounter with a robotic bus conductor aboard the bus is yet another unexpected curveball thrown at the viewer by Wyatt, who's obviously in his element dreaming up as many crazy and unlikely characters and scenarios as he can. The conductor looks great, with its fixed smile, soiled uniform and deadly ticket machine. Fittingly for this incarnation, the Doctor uses linguistics to confuse the robot, and finally blows it up with its own ticket dispenser. There are not many Doctors who could rattle off what Sylvester McCoy does so well: "I'd like a there-and-back off-peak weekend break supersaver senior citizen bi-monthly season with optional added facilities, a free cup of coffee in a plastic glass, a crocodile sandwich and make it snappy, you mechanic moron!"

There's a nice little moment where Ace finds an earring in the sand, perhaps dropped by a doomed passenger*, and the Doctor allows her to keep it (she pins it to her jacket with all the other badges). There's a tenderness, an organic symbiosis between McCoy and Aldred lacking in many other Doctor/ companion relationships down the years. The show was so lucky to get this pairing in its final years, because the chemistry is palpable, and of course the actors have stayed firm friends for life.

While all this has been going on in the sandy wastes of Segonax, we've also been introduced to characters who work at the Psychic Circus. Bellboy and Flowerchild are lovers who have escaped the circus and are searching for the abandoned bus (we're not privy to why). The scenes between Christopher Guard and Dee Sadler are touchingly played (with some nice music from new composer Mark Ayres), and are rather mature in the depiction of their clearly very deep affection for one another. Director Alan Wareing shoots their scenes both tenderly and with scale, such as when they tumble through the untrodden sand, pursued by a pair of kites in the sky which are tracking them.

The kites are controlled by - wait for it - circus clowns dressed as undertakers driving around the desert in a hearse. Because why not? It makes for an arresting, memorable image, and the Chief Clown in particular has a creepy Joker vibe about him. I'm not sure why they bother to dress up as undertakers when they're out and about, but the fact they do just tips this episode into the truly surreal. Clown undertakers driving a hearse and using drone kites is like something you might find in a late-60s episode of The Avengers. It's so wonderfully weird!

There's obviously something very wrong at the Psychic Circus. Two of their staff have escaped (they're the only ones left to fight, Flowerchild says) and the clowns have gone all Six Feet Under. When the escapees part ways, Flowerchild makes for the bus but is killed by the bus conductor before she can make her discovery, while Bellboy is recaptured and returned to the circus ring for punishment. What form that punishment takes isn't shown (making it all the more graphic, of course), but we hear Bellboy's agonised moans as something is done to him which horrifies poor Mags. The girl screams in terror, but her screams are cleverly silenced by the ringmaster's handheld gadget (every family home could do with one of these), and we're left with the disturbing image of Jessica Martin screaming in horror, but no sound coming out.

Outside, Ace falters at the last hurdle, reluctant to enter the circus. The Doctor's far less concerned. He doesn't hear screams, has no fear of what lies ahead, and just wants to explore and get involved. "Well are we going in or aren't we?" he presses the clearly uneasy Ace. It's not the best cliffhanger in the series' history, but it has a certain underlying discomfiture because the viewer knows it's probably best not to go in, but our heroes do not.

Part 1 has been a surreal rollercoaster ride of weirdness, but it's bright, colourful, fun and frenetic, with loads going on, and plenty to intrigue. There's a lot of characters to get to grips with - perhaps too many too quickly - and the Doctor and Ace take a bit too long to reach the circus, but the journey along the way has been full of surprises - just as the rapping ringmaster promised.

* Because the transmission order of Season 25 was changed at the last moment, Ace wears Flowerchild's earring throughout Silver Nemesis, before she finds it in The Greatest Show in the Galaxy! Continuity whoopsie!

First broadcast: December 14th, 1988

Steve's Scoreboard
The Good: Undertaker clowns driving a hearse through the desert. Beyond weird.
The Bad: There's perhaps too many characters introduced in quick succession.
Overall score for episode: ★★★★★★★★☆☆

Ace says "Professor": 44 - Ace calls the Doctor by his correct title: "Ah so, you can remember!" he teases.

NEXT TIME: Part Two...

My reviews of this story's other episodes: Part Two; Part Three; Part Four

Find out birth/death dates, career information, and facts and trivia about this story's cast and crew at the Doctor Who Cast & Crew site.

The Greatest Show in the Galaxy is available on BBC DVD. Find it on Amazon - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Doctor-Who-Greatest-Show-Galaxy/dp/B007Z10I5E