The Caves of Androzani Part Three

The one where the Doctor almost has his arms ripped off...

The magma creature may not be the most realistic monster ever, but you have to admit it's a lovely design and, in a static sense, looks stunning. It probably looked better in an Doctor Who exhibition than it ever did on screen, but nevertheless, some of director Graeme Harper's camera angles manage to give the costume a degree of menace, at least for younger viewers. It advances on the armed soldiers mercilessly, all fangs and talons. It's not as lamentable as some people claim.

Salateen and Peri scramble back to Chellak's headquarters and the Major reveals all about his android copy and the fact Sharaz Jek has taps and cameras everywhere. Robert Glenister gives a sterling dual performance in this story (complete with an impressive wave of hair), striking the right balance between the real Salateen and the android version. Glenister is a master of the 'creepy stare', such as when he glares through the wall at the body prints of the hiding Salateen and Peri, or when the android just plain does not believe a word Chellak is telling him. The eyes are piercing and unsettling.

And there's good reason why the android should disbelieve Chellak, because the General is using the android Salateen to seed disinformation back to Jek. Very clever! Only the android and Jek don't really buy the subterfuge, but it's great fun watching them all try to outmanoeuvre one another.

Meanwhile, the Doctor's having a pretty hard time. This gentlest of Doctors is slowly dying from spectrox toxaemia, the rash and spasms gradually turning to paralysis. On top of that, he's being treated pretty brutally by Jek, who instructs his androids to amputate his arms if he doesn't tell him where his beloved Peri is. "Tear his arms out slowly," Jek sneers, threatening that the androids will move on to his legs soon after. This is nasty stuff, and so soon after we see an angered Jek strike the Doctor across the face. It's distressing to see our hero the subject of such a thuggish world, an underworld of violence, drugs, murder and subterfuge. We're used to seeing rubber monsters in brightly-lit rooms, and camp villainesses with fright wigs and laser guns. The world of Androzani is much darker, and scarier, than Doctor Who was used to.

The Doctor contributes very little to this third episode as Jek hands him over to Stotz, who plans on returning him to Androzani Major for questioning as a spy. Writer Robert Holmes is brave to actively remove the hero figure from the central plot, even if the Doctor doesn't get very far before he's headed back.

This separation between the Doctor and his new friend Peri makes what's happening to the American girl all the more unsettling. Peri is clearly dying from spectrox poisoning (make-up gurus John Nethercot and Shirley Stallard do a great job of making Nicola Bryant look jaundiced and at death's door) and she's left alone with a crazed fantasist who has a creepy crush on her (this will be the first of several).

My favourite scene of the episode is where Peri finds herself alone again with her leathery admirer, and the performances by both Christopher Gable and Bryant are mesmerising. Gable plays the scene and delivers the dialogue by turning the Creep Factor dial up to 11, whispering in her ear and stroking her hair. All the while, Bryant gets across how utterly repulsed and afraid Peri is by screwing her eyes tight shut, quivering in fear and wincing at Jek's every touch. Best of all is the exchange where Jek mentally tortures his captive:

JEK: "Do you think I'm mad?" [soft, threatening delivery]

PERI: "No." [she clearly does, but is afraid to trigger him]

JEK: "I am mad... [a supremely unsettling rejoinder] Do I frighten you?"

PERI: "N-no." [clearly he does, and should!]

The added spin here is that you kind of expect Jek to reply "You should be" - that feels like the natural direction of the conversation - but he doesn't, he merely reminds her how important she is to him, and how utterly creepy he is ("Now I can feast my eyes on your delicacy" - yeuch!). It's so good to have Robert Holmes back.

And then there's Trau Morgus, the wily old fox. He does something in this episode which still manages to shock to this day, because what he does is both innately unexpected and supremely nasty - he pushes the President of Androzani Major down a lift shaft! But it's the way it's written and played which lifts what is quite a perfunctorily brutal act into one of shocking flair. The lead-up is masterfully written and acted by John Normington (who has a permanently sardonic tone) and David Neal, as Morgus plays on the President's fears that there's an assassination plot against him. As the two stand as 'friends' next to Morgus's private lift shaft, the President thanks Morgus for his assistance. "Your Excellency's safety is my sole concern," Morgus replies, then pushes him down the lift shaft! The special effect of Neal tumbling to his doom is well done, and you continue to hear his scream fade into the distance as the scene moves on.

Morgus reports the President's death immediately to his aide, Krau Timmin. "The most appalling thing has happened... It was all over in a second, I had no time to stop him. This is a tragic loss to the world." Normington delivers these lines as if reciting a shopping list, completely devoid of the distress and emotion the words intend. The perfect politician, he's saying the right things, but clearly not meaning them (that sounds very familiar as I write this in 2022). "I am deeply distressed, Krau Timmin," he adds, when he's obviously far from it. It's all so brilliantly done, and again reminds me of the BBC's House of Cards mini-series, when - SPOILERS! - Prime Minister Francis Urquhart shoves journalist Mattie Storin off the roof of the House of Commons. To this day, an unspoiled viewer will find that shocking.

And then there's that sledgehammer last line: "Oh, and Krau Timmin? Have the lift maintenance engineer shot."

The episode draws to a climactic end with the Doctor aboard Stotz's ship, on the way to Androzani Major. Rather stupidly, Stotz leaves his captive alone on the bridge, and it doesn't take long for the Doctor to get free from the rather flimsy Home Bargains shackles, using the rather convenient laser beam to sever his handcuffs (isn't it a damn good job that was there?).

But what the Doctor does next is both remarkable and inspiring. He turns the ship around and directs it back toward Androzani Minor, because that's where his friend Peri is and she needs rescuing. In a stunning selfless act of heroism which suits this Fifth Doctor absolutely, he aims the ship at the surface of the planet full-pelt. He has nothing to lose. He can't land the ship safely, so he's going to crash-land it instead. His determination is alarmingly noble (if potentially suicidal).

"I'm not going to let you stop me now!" the Doctor shouts at Stotz as the ship hurtles towards the planet's surface, and director Graeme Harper crash-zooms in on Peter Davison's agonised face. This is surely one of the most heroic, thrilling and rousing cliffhangers in the show's history? It puts me in mind of the less-dynamic but equally as electrifying cliffhanger to Bad Wolf, where the Doctor tells his companion: "Rose, I'm coming to get you."

First broadcast: March 15th, 1984

Steve's Scoreboard
The Good: That final cliffhanger is both startling and galvanizing.
The Bad: Nothing.
Overall score for episode: ★★★★★★★★★★

NEXT TIME: Part Four...

My reviews of this story's other episodes: Part One; Part Two; Part Four

Find out birth/death dates, career information, and facts and trivia about this story's cast and crew at the Doctor Who Cast & Crew site.

The Caves of Androzani is available on BBC DVD. Find it on Amazon - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Doctor-Who-Caves-Androzani-DVD/dp/B00005B2T7