Meglos Part Four

The one where the Doctor pretends to be Meglos pretending to be the Doctor...

It really gets my goat when characters believe everything complete strangers say, and put all their trust and faith in people who don't have any evidence of what they're claiming. This is a prime example: when Romana and Caris hurtle along the Tigellan corridor and bump into Zastor and Deedrix being taken away, it takes no time at all for the Tigellans to believe that there's an evil doppelganger called Meglos walking about who's stolen the Dodecahedron. Only Caris has ever seen Meglos, and the Doctor only suggested there was a doppelganger, but never evidenced it.

With not a whimper of doubt, both Zastor and Deedrix believe everything Romana and Caris tell them, even though they have no idea who or what Meglos is, don't ask, and nobody tells them. Soon after, they present this melange of information to Lexa, mentioning that Meglos has made off with the Gaztaks. "Is this true?" Lexa asks of Zastor, who nods sagely. And she believes him, even though she just condemned Zastor to death on the surface and doesn't know who the Gaztaks are. It's bad scripting, and very bad script editing.

With the Doctor miraculously absolved of all suspicion by everybody who ever suspected him, attentions turn to Meglos and where he's going with the diddy Dodecahedron. They decide he must be going to the dead planet of Zolfa-Thura. Cue a succession of people saying "the Screens of Zolfa-Thura" mysteriously, like it's supposed to mean something.

But before you can say "let's kill someone just for shits and giggles", a dying Gaztak manages to fire off one last shot, aiming at Romana but hitting the suddenly heroic Lexa, and killing her. This moment is majorly fudged by director Terence Dudley, as it's not really clear what's going on. The Gaztak is not shown to be aiming at Romana, and Lexa is not shown to step into the laser bolt's path to save her. All we see is poor Jacqueline Hill fall half-heartedly to the ground. No dying words, no grand death scene, just an utterly pointless and nonsensical character death. Her death equates to nothing (OK, Romana looks a little put out), and it's the worst type of Doctor Who death: when somebody dies because somebody ought to die to spice things up.

The killing of Lexa - despite the character turning out to be a bit of a crazed zealot - really smarts, because it's Jacqueline Hill we're talking about here, a fundamental part of Doctor Who's story. It's like I'm seeing the death of Barbara Wright, and it's done so badly, and means so little, that it's agonising. I really wish they hadn't killed Lexa, because her death means nothing.

Over on Zolfa-Thura, Meglos explains to his Gaztak heavies that the Dodecahedron's power can be amplified immeasurably by the Screens, which converge five beams of energy on any given point in the galaxy, and destroy it. So it's a Death Star, basically. Another Star Wars homage ticked off the list. Meglos asks Brotadac which planet he should blow up first, but all Brotadac wants is the Meglos's coat (he has a real fetish for coats). Grugger seems to have an unfounded grudge against the Tigellans however, and nominates that planet to be annihilated.

The Doctor - who takes both Caris and Deedrix in the TARDIS all the way to Zolfa-Thura, and then tells them to stay behind - comes up with the clever/ obvious idea of impersonating Meglos, just as Meglos impersonated him, and manages to get inside the Screen control centre to reverse the cactus's programming. This means that instead of blowing up Tigella, the Dodecahedron will blow up Zolfa-Thura, and everybody on it, including the Doctor and Romana, and Deedrix and Caris, who he didn't need to bring at all.

The Gaztaks turn on Meglos and Grugger has him locked up, which results in both Meglos and the Doctor getting locked up in the same cell, and we finally get our long-anticipated split-screen confrontation. Seeing the two together is very brief, but nicely done, and the rest of their conversation is done using clever camera tricks and a body double. Very effective it is too.

Once the Doctor's rescued by Romana and co, Meglos morphs into some kind of gloopy lump of wriggling seaweed, a cross between a Rutan and a Wirrn grub. And as this new-look Meglos slithers out of the door and escapes, everybody just watches him leave. Meglos squidges his way across the sands of Zolfa-Thura into the Screen control room, and back into his xerophyte form in his cactus tank. Then, Zolfa-Thura goes ka-boom, and Meglos and the Gaztaks are dead.

Quick cut back to Tigella where apparently they've "made a beginning" to rebuild their entire society by returning to the surface. This is all very sudden and jarring, and nonsensical, because how are they going to do anything now they've lost the main power source that gave them all their energy? In part 3, Deedrix claims that the Tigellan city will be dead within two hours without the power the Dodecahedron provides. So how can they so suddenly "make a beginning" on the surface with all that "lush aggressive vegetation" still at large? And what will happen to all the Deons, who worshipped the Dodecahedron as a god, and who can't simply stop believing it and start trusting in Savant science. These people have lost their leader and their god, but surely not their faith, not that easily anyway.

A cursory mention by Romana that Gallifrey wants them back immediately, and that's that. The End. Meglos part 4 clocks in at a fraction over 19 and a half minutes, and that includes opening and closing credits and a weighty reprise. Doctor Who's slot on BBC1 that night was only 20 minutes, but why couldn't the writers, script editor, director or producer add a few more minutes to make the story flow better, make more sense, or have a more organic unrushed ending? Let's see the message the Time Lords sent calling them back. Let's see the Doctor return the Earthling (named George Morris in Terrance Dicks's novelisation) back home before he left. Let's think outside the box a bit here (or even inside the box, it's not that hard to come up with another few minutes of narrative).

It's almost as if Meglos couldn't wait to be over. And to be honest, I can't blame it. Even with its shorter duration, it outstays its welcome.

Meglos is a story about Meglos first and foremost (so perhaps the dull title is worthy), and then the Tigellans and Deons, and last, and least, it's about the Doctor and Romana. Well actually, last and least is K-9, who has almost nothing to do for all four episodes except moan about his flat batteries and act as a laser gun. K-9's owners fare little better, not joining the story until midway through part 2, and achieving absolutely nothing in part 3. Romana does bugger all in part 4, and all the Doctor really does is twiddle a few knobs and blow up a planet.

It's all such a mess. If the Doctor hadn't stopped to float in space to repair K-9, he wouldn't have been invited to Tigella, so it's just a massive coincidence that Meglos chooses to copy his appearance to infiltrate the city. What was his plan had the Doctor not been nearby? Did he plan to infiltrate the city of Tigella, and steal the Dodecahedron, looking like George Morris the weedy Earthling? If so, why?

Urgh.

First broadcast: October 18th, 1980

Steve's Scoreboard
The Good: I like how Terence Dudley handles the scene between the Doctor and Meglos, using a body double but in no screamingly obvious way.
The Bad: The killing of Lexa is mindless, and poorly realised.
Overall score for episode: ★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ (story average: 4 out of 10)

"Would you like a jelly baby?" tally: 24

NEXT TIME: Full Circle...

My reviews of this story's other episodes: Part One; Part Two; Part Three

Find out birth/death dates, career information, and facts and trivia about this story's cast and crew at the Doctor Who Cast & Crew site: https://doctorwhocastandcrew.blogspot.com/2014/08/meglos.html

Meglos is available on BBC DVD. Find it on Amazon - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Doctor-Who-Meglos-Tom-Baker/dp/B004ASO950